On The Mend?

Well, the attorney called back like he said he would.  I'm beginning to wonder if he passed the bar! :) LOL  It's refreshing to deal with someone who keeps their word.  Apparently they are willing to pursue legal action against this former rabbi, and the institution which looked the other way and covered everything up.  I want to pinch myself to be sure its true.  Is it possible that the truth will finally come to light? That his current flock of sheep will realize they are being led by a wolf?  I so desperately want to let that glimmer of hope shine, but my rational and practical side reminds me that the good guys don't always win, and lies can be sustained for generations.  I will do whatever I can, whatever is in my power to bring the truth into the light; for my own healing, for other victims and even more importantly to prevent further abuse.

I found some energy and created a new piece. After I finished I was just totally exhausted.  My chest is still very tight and coughing hurts all over.  I think the body is still trying to tell me to rest. But hopefully I am on the upswing. Here's the piece, the colors in this one are very hard to photograph.  The main stones are a beautiful combination of a rust rose, tan, beige and grey.  I used complimentary smaller beads and added some gun metal and silver to complete this necklace.

At the beginning of March I am attending a jewelry making conference in Houston where I will be attending a bunch of workshops to expand my repertoire. I am really looking forward to it.  I love learning new things.  My mom is sending me to the conference as a birthday gift.  I hope to sell a few pieces before then because I need to purchase a bunch of supplies for these classes, and I just don't have the funds right now.  I will admit I am a little anxious about being in a large class with people I don't know.  My anxiety disorder rears its head on these occasions.  I never used to be anxious in these type of situations,  I rode the subway and/or bus everyday to and from school as a teen, public transportation in New York City, and I did just fine for the most part.  I think I do better when I don't have to interact with the individuals around me vs. an expectation of cordiality.  It seems like new situations and new people have me more and more anxious the older I get.  When I have a panic attack (aside from the dread, the sweating and the racing heart and thoughts) it goes to my intestines and bowls.  There is no feeling more humiliating and terrifying than having a panic attack and not knowing if you are going to get to a bathroom on time.  That intense reaction started after the abuse. I went to numerous doctors over the years and IBS was finally diagnosed, but having a name for it doesn't make it any better.  My daily meds keep it basically in check, but I am thankful that I can take Valium when needed.

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