Creativity to the Rescue

I started on a new painting today and completed a necklace and earring set.  Feeling creative today, tired but creative. I listed my other painting on Etsy yesterday and have gotten some great feedback.  That is so affirming.  I hope my next one is as good.  Here's the jewelry I finished today. I posted it on Etsy just a few minutes ago. Click on the caption for more details.

Purple Printed Floral Shell Beaded Necklace

There are so many things I want to try and want to learn. The next thing on my list is batik.  I am going to try and make something this afternoon.  Wish me luck.  Given my Jewish background, I am going to make a challah cover.  This is a decorative fabric that covers the ceremonial bread on the Sabbath table.  Once I get it all done, I will post a photo here. 

Still no news from the attorney.  I am beginning to wonder if he's dropped off the planet; But I know better, having worked in the legal field for so many years. The waiting and wondering is really hard. I don't know what will be or what lies ahead, and that is what is so frightening.  I try hard not to think about it. Staying busy and creative helps a lot.

Turquoise Blue With Black Threads Lampwork Glass Beads

Here's my JET Team love for the day.  These earrings are so cute and I love the color. Click on the caption for more details.

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Funny or Cry

Jam packed a lot into the last few days.  Therapy was cathartic and helpful.  The weekend was great and Super Bowl Sunday was a ton of fun with family, friends and a lot of good food.  I made barbeque wings, meatball sliders, spinach and artichoke dip, and queso. Our friends brought egg rolls. And for desert I made more of those delicious oatmeal raisin cookies and decadent reeses peanut butter cupcakes.  Here are some photos of the food.

Before all of that we did a bit of shopping and then Skyped with my eldest daughter who is learning this semester in Spain.  It was so good to see her, and hear her voice.  She is having a blast and doing great. Her funny stories of mis-spoken Spanish kept all of us laughing.  She's been to Barcelona and France in addition to living in a beautiful basque region of Spain. I miss her but I am so glad she is having the time of her life and getting to see Europe.

Monday I took care of my grandpa who is suffering from dementia. In his lucid moments he is a hoot. He makes me laugh, and I hate to watch him lose touch with reality. My grandma had to go to the doctor and run some errands so I stayed with him most of the day.  Having not grown up with my grandpa, it is really hard because I feel like I didn't get enough time with him. I don't know how much longer he will know who I am.  This is especially hard for me since I lost both of my adoptive parents to dementia. It was a great day with him.  I brought him one of the cupcakes I had made and he absolutely loved it.  We laughed a lot and he told me some old family stories. My wife helped out too by doing their tax return and putting a wine rack together that my grandma bought. Grandma was so thankful for all the help.  I honestly don't know how she does it everyday. He woke up the night before insisting that the house was on fire.  I love them both so much and I hate to watch this happen (him deteriorate and her struggle to care for him).

Royal Rose

While grandpa slept I created this necklace. This is the second necklace I have made using these beads.  I think they are just gorgeous. The first necklace sold, and took a different turn accentuating the off white tones of the beads.  This time I focused on the lavender, rose and gold tones. Click the link to find out more in my Etsy store.

Boho Autumn Necklace

Here is my JET Team love for the day. Beautiful earthy colors. Click the caption to find out more.

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Running on Empty

Well I am running on about 3.5 hours of sleep today.  I could not shut my brain off last night. I am guessing sheer exhaustion is finally what did me in.  I started sketching for a new painting, I cleaned up my beads (a bit), and I looked at charms for some new theme bracelets I want to make. I even created a list of things to start on and/or do today. I sold another piece today, a set with earrings.  I can hardly believe it, this makes three days in a row!

Between the mood swings and the inability to sleep I think this may be the onset of a hypo manic episode. I know the symptoms, and now I have a support system in place to help me work through it rather than act out.  Struggling through this will be just that a true struggle. In the past, although I struggled miserably, I self medicated in all sorts of unhealthy and dangerous ways.  Now that the joy of creating is back in my life, its one of the positive things I can do to maintain control and happiness.

I made one small piece today: a bracelet. I've been meaning for some time to start making LGBT Pride jewelry.  This is my first attempt.  The emphasis on this piece is certainly the "L" - LOL. I have a few other ideas rambling around inside this over crowded disorganized brain of mine.

Heading to the therapist today which is really good timing under the circumstances. My only reservation is that I have to drive downtown and I am now thoroughly exhausted. I've pumped quite a bit of caffeine into me today - I am thinking the next option might be sugar (although I've had my share of that too today). I absolutely abhor the taste of energy drinks so that is out of the question.  I'll figure something out because I really want this to be a productive therapy session.

We are having a very small get together at our place on Sunday for the Super Bowl.  Actually its more about people coming over to eat and laugh at the commercials, but nevertheless its an excuse to cook yummy finger foods and drink beer. I am going to work on the menu tonight, and get started shopping and cooking first thing Saturday (after some nice morning cuddle time with my wife). If anyone has a really good Super Bowl recipe they want to share - I'll include it in our Sunday fun.

I lived in Baltimore for almost ten years, so I'll be rooting for the Ravens. This means nothing really because I neither care about nor know anything about the game of football. This doesn't bother me, but it usually makes me the laughing stock at any Super Bowl party.  Since its at our house, maybe I wont get laughed at quite so much.

Please send me happy good nights' sleep thoughts. Hopefully I'll have some energy tomorrow.

Today's JET Team love: (This is a gorgeous pendant!)

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Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Self-worth and Satisfaction

Today was very productive.  In the last two days I've sold three pieces, made three and begun to learn a new skill.  One of the sales was my first international order.  It was to Canada, which never really felt foreign to me because as a child we visited Montreal and Toronto at least once a year. Shipping costs did just go up, and with the USPS struggling the way it is shipping things anywhere has become really prohibitive. 

The three pieces I made are custom orders for a bridal party.  These are just the samples really, but I am hoping the bride will order the pieces for her bridal party.  She is having a country western theme and her colors are a variety of purples.  She wanted boot jewelry for herself, her bridesmaids and her flower girl.  Now its just a matter of her budget - which I of all people totally understand. Here are the pieces I created.

Bride's Boot Bling

Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Flower Girl Boot Bling

Bride & Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Bride & Flower Girl Boot Bling

There is something so satisfying and self-affirming when someone enjoys something you've created.  So few things give me a sense of self worth.  I know that doesn't sound good, but its something I've struggled with my whole life.  I know some of it stems from the abuse, and some of it from the abandonment I feel having been adopted and never connecting with my adoptive family. But creating brings me joy and when it brings joy to others there is a deep satisfaction.  

Here is my JET Team love for the day the shop is ShazzabethCreations: (Just click on the caption to find out more!)

Charoite & Lampwork Gold Wired Necklace

Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully it will bring me continued satisfaction. I think I need to work with clay again; Mold something from nothing with my hands. 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                   https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:         http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

A Rough Few Days

Keeping baby happy!

I want to apologize for not blogging the past few days, but basically I’ve been sleeping and painting.  Our finances have been really tight and we couldn’t afford some of my meds, but we just picked them up and things are slowly returning to normal.  We slept our weekend away.  I guess my body needed the sleep.  Went to bed early Saturday evening and woke up late Sunday morning, then had a late morning nap AND a late afternoon nap.  Actually fell asleep on my wife’s lap around 10 p.m. Sunday night, and slept all night till about 7:00 Monday morning.  And, had I not agreed to babysit that morning I probably would’ve slept in long past seven.  I think my body is trying to tell me something, but I am not sure what.

My painting

I created this painting as well. I am toying with selling it but I like it a lot, and know it will likely appeal to a limited audience.  It was born from some recent emotions, although neither my partner nor I look anything like the women in the painting. LOL neither one of us is that skinny!

During the day Saturday I worked with our friend the photographer and he did a wonderful job with some of the pieces I have found very difficult to photograph.  I am excited to upload what he has done onto Etsy, and use some other shots here on the blog as well.

Nice pic from Ben the photographer!

My wife put her notice in at her job and will be starting at a new place in two weeks.  The money is only a tad bit better, but the atmosphere should be much more relaxed and less stressful.  I just want her to be happy and be able to enjoy her day.

Given the time and work spent on the painting I haven’t created any more jewelry.  I don’t know if I will get to this week or not.  My moods have been a bit erratic and I have been kind of down the last couple of weeks.  I find it difficult to turn my mood around – I’m sure I need some tools to help me, but things that make me happy like being creative, writing, singing, etc. are so hard to do when you are in a funk and lack motivation.  Any suggestions are welcome.

Fine Silver Flower Pendant Necklace

JET Team love for today:

This pendant is just soft, feminine and beautiful.  Click the link in the caption if you want to see more.

I made some very yummy oatmeal raisin cookies from a Food Network recipe you can find here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/chewy-oatmeal-raisin-cookies-recipe2/index.html  Here’s a pic.  They came out great.  I think the only thing I might do differently next time is use half molasses and half honey instead of all molasses.  Either way, these cookies are really good. 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

Etsy:            http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

FB:              https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:        https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

Feelin' the Love

Got a lot done with some photos today.  These are my own of course, I meet with the photographer on Saturday. None of these pieces are listed on Etsy yet, but I will get to posting them later today or tomorrow.  I am kind of anxious today, anxious and tired - not a fun combination. Maybe getting out later (even though its for a doctor) will be good for me.

I made a really cool piece last night. I think its kinda unisex. I like it a lot.  Being the Jewish part of this pair (and really more of an agnostic), I don't really wear crosses. I think they can be beautiful and I like to create necklaces using them.

Throughout the day my wife calls me and we chat about nothing, and anything at all.  I like to hear her voice and know she's thinking about me. I text her, because I never know if its a good time to call. A lot of the texts and calls are just to say "I love you" or "I miss you". Sometimes those little things keep me going throughout the day, especially when I am anxious or sad.

Now that I am mostly healthy again I need to get back to seeing my therapist.  Talking to him about this possible law suit would really be helpful right now. Our money is so tight right now even making one appointment is cost prohibitive as the new year has started, and hence so has our deductible. I really like my therapist, and its the first time in a long time that I have had such a good relationship with a therapist.  It took over a decade really to find the right combination of psychiatrist, therapist and medication.  Even still we tweak things all the time, but I feel like I am heading in the right direction, and I have a good team behind me.  That team, and my wife, my kids, my mom and my mother-in-law, have all made suffering from bipolar disorder, OCD, and anxiety disorder easier now than it had been in the past. I still struggle daily with a variety of issues, but knowing all these people are in my corner, pulling for me helps tremendously. Its sad because I know that so many people who suffer from mental illness don't have the support system I do.  Maybe someday I will be well enough to help some of my "brothers and sisters in arms" with their struggle. I know when I have heard stories and feelings shared by others who suffer from similar disorders it has helped me feel less alone.

Red Creek Jasper Necklace

Gotta get ready for the doc. Here is today's JET Team love:

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:        http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

Promoting, Obsessing and Blogging

Finally sat down and made a necklace and some earrings. Got them listed on Etsy, onto FB, tweeted and pinned - whew! This social networking thing is a lot of work, LOL. I am going to meet with a photographer this weekend to see about getting some better shots of my jewelry.  I am pretty good at taking pictures, but I think someone with some commercial photography experience would be a huge asset. Here's the piece I completed and promoted today: (The caption is a link to the Etsy posting.)

Turquoise, Red, Brown & Silver Chunky Multi-Strand Necklace

The attorney's office got back with me today.  I asked the paralegal when they were wanting a face to face meeting, but the answer was kind of ambiguous, "I would imagine at some point in the near future we’d like to get together with you." I knew that already. I was hoping for something more specific, like - let's shoot for two weeks or three weeks?  My anxiety kicks in when there are too many unknowns and in this situation it feels like everything is unknown.

I am trying to stay grounded and not let this take over my life.  When I get obsessive I tend to get hypo manic. My mood has been pretty good though and I am taking my meds everyday. I check in with the doctor on Thursday and hopefully he won't change my meds again. He tried me on some OCD medication, but it didn't seem to really do much. I am concerned about the ruminating thoughts and slight paranoia but I will discuss it all with him, and see if he wants to change the cocktail again.  Maybe he will just while I am going through all this rehashing of such a painful time for me.

Recycled Reclaimed Bronze Lotus Leaf Petal Earrings

Being a member of the JET team, we are asked to promote some of the other member's items and shops.  Everyday they chose a different shop to spotlight and the team members promote an item(s) from that shop. That being said, here's a pretty little pair of earrings from a fellow JET Team member. I love their simplicity and delicate nature. Her Etsy shop, RusticRockJewelry has some very pretty items. (The caption is a link to the Etsy posting.)

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                   https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:         http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

New Etsy Team Member

Today has been the busiest sitting around day I've had in a long while.  I finally got around to taking care of becoming an active member of the JET team on Etsy.  It's been fun and its kept me quite busy. The group has helped me gain a few blog followers and FB fans too. I am looking forward to making some new friends on the team, and helping and learning.

My car is still in the shop and this is really not such a bad thing - its helped me stay at home today and get things done.  The kids are gone and the house has returned to its quiet calm.  Other than the snoring of a basset hound you could hear a pin drop.

Still nothing new from the attorney.  I am looking forward to going to New York, but since this craziness has re-emerged, I keep pairing New York with all the negative and scary feelings of the abuse and polarization.  I need to figure out how to stop doing this because I miss New York terribly, and I don't ever want to feel fear when there. Maybe I just need to make some new, positive memories during my coming visit.  I know this isn't going to be an easy task as the primary purpose for the visit will be to rehash everything that happened. Somehow I will get through it.  My wife will be there with me, and things are so very different now.

I've been on the computer long enough today. The shower and the to-do list are both calling my name. Time to break away from the warmth of the computer screen and be a bit productive in some other arenas.

The Elusive Good Nights' Sleep

Got a lot done this weekend.  And we did get to see The Hobbit on Saturday.  We really enjoyed it - I am looking forward to the second movie. Unfortunately, on Saturday night I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, and could not go back to sleep.  It involved me shooting a gun at people, and it scared the crap out of me because I have never had a dream like that. I do not own a gun nor do I like guns.  Maybe it was some weird underlying anger or something.  Either way it was disturbing.  I tried to think of positive happy things, and that wouldn't work either, so I just got up and had some coffee and a muffin.  I spent the rest of the day in an exhausted fog.

No jewelry making this weekend, but my daughter and I did make some really yummy cookies-n-cream cupcakes.  Here's a pic. The icing was amazing.  I just used a fairly standard butter cream icing recipe and blended crushed double stuffed oreos into it. The cake needed a bit more flavor though so I need to tweak that recipe before I make it again.  They are really yummy though.

I am still quite tired and just pushing through the day with the hopes of getting another good nights' sleep.  My chihuahua Fiona has a favorite place; on my wife's shoulder.  It's hilarious really.  She gets herself all comfortable and perched up there everyday, and everyday my wife bitches and moans about her choice of resting places.  They both fell asleep in just that position the other day.  It was really sweet so I had to take a picture.

Our friend Yvonne came over on Sunday and spent the night.  We took her to dinner to the only kosher Israeli restaurant in the Dallas area: Natalie's Kitchen.  Their felafel and shwarma are both just amazing. Our other friends met us there too, and we all had a really nice evening.  Every time we go to this restaurant we purchase my favorite Israeli candy bar, Pesek Zman.  We always buy quite a few but it never seems like enough!

Yvonne stayed over last night and helped me out big time by following me to the mechanic so that I wouldn't have to wait there while they fixed my car.  I love my car and she's still in the shop right now.  I hope to have her back tomorrow.  For 90+% of my driving life I have driven kid friendly vehicles - which is understandable given my circumstances.  But now that most of them are grown, and the two youngest don't travel too many places with me, I finally got a fun car.  Now I drive a Mini Cooper. I've named her Maxine, just for the irony of it.  She's a little sick right now, but they are going to make her all better.

It might be time for a nap, or in the very least a solid few moments of rest.  Tomorrow is a new day and back to the week's routine.

Babies become Teenagers... I Have to Remember That!

Well, both teenagers have made weekend plans (which do not include us). We haven't seen The Hobbit yet, so possibly tomorrow (they both saw it already - LOL).  Yesterday wound up being very busy.  I helped my friend with her new baby.  She's a first time mom and just learning the ropes.  I love caring for babies, so it was the perfect opportunity.  He's a bit colicky and she's just exhausted.  I told her to call me whenever she needs me.  I had him passed out after a bit, and I answered her questions as best I could. I'm hoping to help her out at least once a week.

Sleeping happy baby in my arms - just yummy!

That being said, I never posted the jewelry on Etsy.  I made one piece this morning.  It has this really cool vintage look to it.  I almost never work in gold.  I definitely prefer silver, or brass, or copper, but when I saw this pendant I kinda saw the whole piece come together in my mind.


Still nothing from the attorney.  Having been a paralegal for many years, this is more or less what I expect from a law firm. I'm sure if they were ready to file a petition or complaint, they would have me review it first. I will call them today to be certain they received the original signature pages I sent them.  I am still very anxious about the whole thing. This man tormented me for years - spreading lies, stalking me, making late night scary phone calls, having his minions spy on me, ostracizing me from much of the Jewish community.  Who knows what he's capable of now? He's older, has a bigger following and has more money.  I think once the petition is served I may call my local police department and tell them what is going on.  A restraining order might be necessary for my own peace of mind.  I am sure I am just being paranoid and over reacting, but the young girl in me remains petrified.

Later this afternoon I am going to be a teenage taxi service.  We should have a nice quiet evening though, and now that I am feeling somewhat better I am looking forward to enjoying my weekend.  I'm still a bit congested, but most of my energy has returned and the coughing is just about gone.  This darn thing has lasted almost 3 weeks.

Looks like I will be making some more cupcakes this weekend with my daughter.  She wants to bring them for her friend's birthday.  I enjoy baking with her and that will be our quality time.  We will be making cookies and cream cupcakes.  They are really yummy. I'll post the recipe here with a photo after we make them.

My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Life Happens

Change is hard.  I try to embrace it, but my anxiety takes over with all the "what ifs".  My wife may be starting a job with a very new company in the very very near future.  This wouldn't be so terrifying if I was able to work too, or if my jewelry business brought in a decent income, but for now she is the main bread winner and the risk is scary. That combined with the potential lawsuit feels kinda overwhelming - quite a bit of change all at once. I need some time post illness to ground myself in a routine - that would help quite a bit with new transitions. But of course you can't plan change it just seems to happen.

I made two pieces yesterday, one in turquoise and silver, and the other in red, black and white.  A more natural stone one, and a blingy one. I'll be posting them both on Etsy later today.

My head is kinda spinning and I am trying to navigate my way through everything going on in my life right now.  I think I need to make a list so that I can feel some sense of control (albeit imaginary). Honestly I don't even feel capable of making a list. I hate when my brain moves so quickly that I can't focus or relax or think.  If this lasts too long I'll wind up with an anxiety attack. Probably need to take my Valium and relax for a bit.  Then if that does its job I can try my hand at list making.

If my wife takes this new job she will be able to work from home quite a bit and that is a major plus. Having her around makes me happy and alleviates the loneliness I feel often at home by myself.

Today I pick the kids up for the weekend.  I am looking forward to seeing them. It's hard to make plans to do stuff when you have teenagers - they don't want to do very much (other than with their friends of course). It would be fun to do something with them - but my two youngest are a boy and a girl, 15 and 13 - they can barely agree on dinner let alone a family activity.  We might be able to agree on a board game.  That's quality time and free - I like that combination.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I have to take deep breaths, pet my puppies and take some Valium.

My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

It's Sparkly!

As the day went on I felt quite a bit better.  I hope things keep going in this direction.  I made two new pieces.  The first one I did in honor of our snowy day.  It's on the dressy side and could almost be worn as wedding jewelry.  I made matching earrings as well.  I'll be posting this set on Etsy later today.

The second set has a necklace, bracelet and earrings. It's also kinda dressy.  I just love the colors in this set:  The turquoise and greens and silver. 

Both of these pieces shimmer and shine.  I usually stick with earthy tones and natural stones when I can, but the sparkle and color helped pick my mood up.

My anxiety has been up and down.  I really do think the addition of the anti-psychotic almost two months ago now has made a big difference.  I am not constantly anxious all day everyday and my moods are not as erratic.  I am very thankful to have a psychiatrist who listens to me and is willing to keep trying different things until we get it right.  It took me quite a long time to find a doctor who listens and responds the way he does.  He's not a therapist and I don't really discuss too much of daily living and emotional issues with him - I have a therapist for that; but he listens to what I can describe regarding my level of anxiety, my OCD behaviors, and my mood cycles. (All of which have seemed to improve a bit.)

Nothing new from my attorney yet.  Patience is not my best virtue.  I am sure he has many other cases, and I am not on the top of his "to do" list everyday.  The waiting and wondering is hard.  I wonder if any questions I might have answered in that 16 page questionnaire could've changed his mind about representing me.  I worry because having a mental illness has such a stigma. Does my bipolar disorder or other diagnoses make me a less credible client? My erratic mood swings? Prior suicidal ideation?  I guess only time will tell... and LOL that goes back to my lack of patience.

My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Moody Monday... woops its Tuesday!

Woke up to a beautiful carpet of snow on our front lawn.  My wife got to go into work a bit late, and we had a nice relaxing morning.  Its really quite cold here - not what one expects in Texas.  We are not getting too much above freezing today, and the sky is just gray and dreary.  The basset hound has the right idea this morning.

Maybe its the weather, or just not being able to shake this upper respiratory infection - but I am feeling kinda down today.  I'm taking all my meds and trying to get healthy.  Haven't sold much recently with the exception of a few custom orders.  If I didn't love creating the things I create, I'm fairly certain I'd be ready to throw in the towel.  They are not kidding when they talk about the struggling artist. 

I will try and create a new piece of jewelry today I just need to find the motivation.  I have been enjoying the little bit of painting I've been doing.  I might offer the hand painted personalized onesies for sale in my Etsy shop. They are fun to make and I like the individuality of personalizing them. I bought a three pack of onesies so I decided to paint the last one for our other friend who just had a baby boy too. They did his room with a cowboy theme, so here is what I painted for Rylan:

Another lunch of chicken soup under my belt, cold medicine pumping though my veins and my trusty tissue box by my side.  I'll rest a bit longer and then I'll bead.  Maybe some colorful beads will lift my mood.








My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Just Another Sick Day

The cupcakes were really yummy, but the strawberry icing needed some work.  I got to enjoy baby Nathan and helped them out with some burping and soothing techniques. I can't believe it, but I am still sick.  It's been two weeks already - I am done with being sick.

I've been resting most of the day.  The only thing I did today was paint another onesie for the baby.  They showed us his adorable nursery which is done in a robot print so I mimicked the fabric and made this:

The next call I get from the attorney is likely to be making arrangements to meet in person.  I really do want the opportunity to go home, but under these circumstances its very bittersweet.  I haven't been home since 2003 I think.  It was '02 or '03 and it was in February, and it was very very cold. It'll be pretty funny if I go back again in February.  I guess we will see what happens.  I miss New York terribly.  I'd move back if I could afford the cost of living. There is something about New York City that invigorates me, wakes me up and gets me going.  There's an electricity in the air that doesn't exist anywhere else.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Another doctor visit may be in order if I don't feel any better soon. Its still in my chest and the sinus drainage is just horrible.  I'm gonna get a good nights' sleep and hope for a healthier tomorrow.

My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Baby Nathan & Baking

Today I am going to bake some twinkie cupcakes with strawberry frosting and bring them over to our friends' house.  I will take pictures of the finished product and let you know how the recipe goes.  I am so excited to see the baby I can hardly stand it.  I made my friend a bracelet for her to remember these first few weeks with her little one.  Here's a pic:

Gotta head to the store for some last minute ingredients.  I am going to make every effort to not think about the case today, and just enjoy time with my wife, our friends, and that adorable baby boy.  I also painted a onesie for him in preparation for Valentine's Day.  I hope it fits in February.

OK - the recipe I used for the cupcakes was a bit painstaking.  I hope it pays off.  They are filled with a vanilla creme like a twinkie and then I frosted them with strawberry frosting and decorated with a fresh strawberry on top.  I used the recipe you can find by clicking this link: Make Your Own Twinkie Cupcakes.  Here's a pic of what they look like - I hope they taste as good as they look!

We watched a cool movie last night:  Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio (who I am not a huge fan of).  It was really good.  Keeps you on your toes and thinking - the kind of movie you could watch a few times and pick up new details with each viewing.  I want to go see The Hobbit tomorrow.

Need to head into the shower and get dressed. I am literally covered with powdered sugar - LOL!  Here we come baby Nathan!

Writing & Creating My Way Through

The sixteen page questionnaire that I have to fill out for my attorney is very daunting.  My memory about what happened is crystal clear, but things like names and dates are all a little foggy now.  I will do my best and just answer everything as completely as I am able.  Those people in my life who cared back then, I wonder if they'll care now; if their memory of those months is as clear as mine? I can remember the shame, the confusion, the pain, the anxiety, the disappointment, the sadness, the stress, the fear - all of it.  When we tried to expose the truth 27 years ago it was the longest nightmare of my life - one I do not look forward to reliving.

My anxiety is building already and we haven't begun any formal proceedings.  I hope I have the strength for this.  The support system I have around me is solid, but ultimately it is I who has to move through this process and find my healing path.

I need to make a point each day to NOT think about all of this for a few hours.  Its hard because of my OCD and anxiety.  If I make a point of being creative every day that ought to help.  On that note I made a necklace with what little energy I had. I've been working with a lot of color recently, so I decided to create in black and white.

I think I am going to paint. I am wanting to put a brush on canvas. If I continue to get healthier I should have the energy.

Writing this blog has sparked the flame to pick up writing I began many years ago.  I started writing about the facts and circumstances that made me who I am, but put it down wondering who if anyone would be interested in the story.  I am considering starting a separate blog to continue working on this story so that the Body Electric Jewelry blog can remain about jewelry and current things.  I'm still not sure anyone would read it, but maybe it would be a good personal exercise.

This weekend (assuming I am healthy) I finally get to meet our friends' baby.  I am so excited.  Caring for babies is one of my most favorite things to do. At least until they can say "no", then giving them back to their parents is in order.  My kids are almost all grown now, and I miss their babyhood.  So I get to live vicariously though our friends.  Any time I can spend with that sweet baby will certainly be a positive distraction and bring me much happiness.

My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

On The Mend?

Well, the attorney called back like he said he would.  I'm beginning to wonder if he passed the bar! :) LOL  It's refreshing to deal with someone who keeps their word.  Apparently they are willing to pursue legal action against this former rabbi, and the institution which looked the other way and covered everything up.  I want to pinch myself to be sure its true.  Is it possible that the truth will finally come to light? That his current flock of sheep will realize they are being led by a wolf?  I so desperately want to let that glimmer of hope shine, but my rational and practical side reminds me that the good guys don't always win, and lies can be sustained for generations.  I will do whatever I can, whatever is in my power to bring the truth into the light; for my own healing, for other victims and even more importantly to prevent further abuse.

I found some energy and created a new piece. After I finished I was just totally exhausted.  My chest is still very tight and coughing hurts all over.  I think the body is still trying to tell me to rest. But hopefully I am on the upswing. Here's the piece, the colors in this one are very hard to photograph.  The main stones are a beautiful combination of a rust rose, tan, beige and grey.  I used complimentary smaller beads and added some gun metal and silver to complete this necklace.

At the beginning of March I am attending a jewelry making conference in Houston where I will be attending a bunch of workshops to expand my repertoire. I am really looking forward to it.  I love learning new things.  My mom is sending me to the conference as a birthday gift.  I hope to sell a few pieces before then because I need to purchase a bunch of supplies for these classes, and I just don't have the funds right now.  I will admit I am a little anxious about being in a large class with people I don't know.  My anxiety disorder rears its head on these occasions.  I never used to be anxious in these type of situations,  I rode the subway and/or bus everyday to and from school as a teen, public transportation in New York City, and I did just fine for the most part.  I think I do better when I don't have to interact with the individuals around me vs. an expectation of cordiality.  It seems like new situations and new people have me more and more anxious the older I get.  When I have a panic attack (aside from the dread, the sweating and the racing heart and thoughts) it goes to my intestines and bowls.  There is no feeling more humiliating and terrifying than having a panic attack and not knowing if you are going to get to a bathroom on time.  That intense reaction started after the abuse. I went to numerous doctors over the years and IBS was finally diagnosed, but having a name for it doesn't make it any better.  My daily meds keep it basically in check, but I am thankful that I can take Valium when needed.

On the sidebar of this blog I have created a BEJ Blog Button with a grab box.  If you have a webpage or blog of your own and would be willing to promote my blog, feel free to cut and paste the HTML code from the grab box to create my button on your page.  I'd be happy to do the same for you.

My links:

FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.