Creativity to the Rescue

I started on a new painting today and completed a necklace and earring set.  Feeling creative today, tired but creative. I listed my other painting on Etsy yesterday and have gotten some great feedback.  That is so affirming.  I hope my next one is as good.  Here's the jewelry I finished today. I posted it on Etsy just a few minutes ago. Click on the caption for more details.

Purple Printed Floral Shell Beaded Necklace

There are so many things I want to try and want to learn. The next thing on my list is batik.  I am going to try and make something this afternoon.  Wish me luck.  Given my Jewish background, I am going to make a challah cover.  This is a decorative fabric that covers the ceremonial bread on the Sabbath table.  Once I get it all done, I will post a photo here. 

Still no news from the attorney.  I am beginning to wonder if he's dropped off the planet; But I know better, having worked in the legal field for so many years. The waiting and wondering is really hard. I don't know what will be or what lies ahead, and that is what is so frightening.  I try hard not to think about it. Staying busy and creative helps a lot.

Turquoise Blue With Black Threads Lampwork Glass Beads

Here's my JET Team love for the day.  These earrings are so cute and I love the color. Click on the caption for more details.

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Running on Empty

Well I am running on about 3.5 hours of sleep today.  I could not shut my brain off last night. I am guessing sheer exhaustion is finally what did me in.  I started sketching for a new painting, I cleaned up my beads (a bit), and I looked at charms for some new theme bracelets I want to make. I even created a list of things to start on and/or do today. I sold another piece today, a set with earrings.  I can hardly believe it, this makes three days in a row!

Between the mood swings and the inability to sleep I think this may be the onset of a hypo manic episode. I know the symptoms, and now I have a support system in place to help me work through it rather than act out.  Struggling through this will be just that a true struggle. In the past, although I struggled miserably, I self medicated in all sorts of unhealthy and dangerous ways.  Now that the joy of creating is back in my life, its one of the positive things I can do to maintain control and happiness.

I made one small piece today: a bracelet. I've been meaning for some time to start making LGBT Pride jewelry.  This is my first attempt.  The emphasis on this piece is certainly the "L" - LOL. I have a few other ideas rambling around inside this over crowded disorganized brain of mine.

Heading to the therapist today which is really good timing under the circumstances. My only reservation is that I have to drive downtown and I am now thoroughly exhausted. I've pumped quite a bit of caffeine into me today - I am thinking the next option might be sugar (although I've had my share of that too today). I absolutely abhor the taste of energy drinks so that is out of the question.  I'll figure something out because I really want this to be a productive therapy session.

We are having a very small get together at our place on Sunday for the Super Bowl.  Actually its more about people coming over to eat and laugh at the commercials, but nevertheless its an excuse to cook yummy finger foods and drink beer. I am going to work on the menu tonight, and get started shopping and cooking first thing Saturday (after some nice morning cuddle time with my wife). If anyone has a really good Super Bowl recipe they want to share - I'll include it in our Sunday fun.

I lived in Baltimore for almost ten years, so I'll be rooting for the Ravens. This means nothing really because I neither care about nor know anything about the game of football. This doesn't bother me, but it usually makes me the laughing stock at any Super Bowl party.  Since its at our house, maybe I wont get laughed at quite so much.

Please send me happy good nights' sleep thoughts. Hopefully I'll have some energy tomorrow.

Today's JET Team love: (This is a gorgeous pendant!)

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Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Self-worth and Satisfaction

Today was very productive.  In the last two days I've sold three pieces, made three and begun to learn a new skill.  One of the sales was my first international order.  It was to Canada, which never really felt foreign to me because as a child we visited Montreal and Toronto at least once a year. Shipping costs did just go up, and with the USPS struggling the way it is shipping things anywhere has become really prohibitive. 

The three pieces I made are custom orders for a bridal party.  These are just the samples really, but I am hoping the bride will order the pieces for her bridal party.  She is having a country western theme and her colors are a variety of purples.  She wanted boot jewelry for herself, her bridesmaids and her flower girl.  Now its just a matter of her budget - which I of all people totally understand. Here are the pieces I created.

Bride's Boot Bling

Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Flower Girl Boot Bling

Bride & Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Bride & Flower Girl Boot Bling

There is something so satisfying and self-affirming when someone enjoys something you've created.  So few things give me a sense of self worth.  I know that doesn't sound good, but its something I've struggled with my whole life.  I know some of it stems from the abuse, and some of it from the abandonment I feel having been adopted and never connecting with my adoptive family. But creating brings me joy and when it brings joy to others there is a deep satisfaction.  

Here is my JET Team love for the day the shop is ShazzabethCreations: (Just click on the caption to find out more!)

Charoite & Lampwork Gold Wired Necklace

Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully it will bring me continued satisfaction. I think I need to work with clay again; Mold something from nothing with my hands. 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                   https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:         http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

A Rough Few Days

Keeping baby happy!

I want to apologize for not blogging the past few days, but basically I’ve been sleeping and painting.  Our finances have been really tight and we couldn’t afford some of my meds, but we just picked them up and things are slowly returning to normal.  We slept our weekend away.  I guess my body needed the sleep.  Went to bed early Saturday evening and woke up late Sunday morning, then had a late morning nap AND a late afternoon nap.  Actually fell asleep on my wife’s lap around 10 p.m. Sunday night, and slept all night till about 7:00 Monday morning.  And, had I not agreed to babysit that morning I probably would’ve slept in long past seven.  I think my body is trying to tell me something, but I am not sure what.

My painting

I created this painting as well. I am toying with selling it but I like it a lot, and know it will likely appeal to a limited audience.  It was born from some recent emotions, although neither my partner nor I look anything like the women in the painting. LOL neither one of us is that skinny!

During the day Saturday I worked with our friend the photographer and he did a wonderful job with some of the pieces I have found very difficult to photograph.  I am excited to upload what he has done onto Etsy, and use some other shots here on the blog as well.

Nice pic from Ben the photographer!

My wife put her notice in at her job and will be starting at a new place in two weeks.  The money is only a tad bit better, but the atmosphere should be much more relaxed and less stressful.  I just want her to be happy and be able to enjoy her day.

Given the time and work spent on the painting I haven’t created any more jewelry.  I don’t know if I will get to this week or not.  My moods have been a bit erratic and I have been kind of down the last couple of weeks.  I find it difficult to turn my mood around – I’m sure I need some tools to help me, but things that make me happy like being creative, writing, singing, etc. are so hard to do when you are in a funk and lack motivation.  Any suggestions are welcome.

Fine Silver Flower Pendant Necklace

JET Team love for today:

This pendant is just soft, feminine and beautiful.  Click the link in the caption if you want to see more.

I made some very yummy oatmeal raisin cookies from a Food Network recipe you can find here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/chewy-oatmeal-raisin-cookies-recipe2/index.html  Here’s a pic.  They came out great.  I think the only thing I might do differently next time is use half molasses and half honey instead of all molasses.  Either way, these cookies are really good. 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

Etsy:            http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

FB:              https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:        https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

On The Mend?

Well, the attorney called back like he said he would.  I'm beginning to wonder if he passed the bar! :) LOL  It's refreshing to deal with someone who keeps their word.  Apparently they are willing to pursue legal action against this former rabbi, and the institution which looked the other way and covered everything up.  I want to pinch myself to be sure its true.  Is it possible that the truth will finally come to light? That his current flock of sheep will realize they are being led by a wolf?  I so desperately want to let that glimmer of hope shine, but my rational and practical side reminds me that the good guys don't always win, and lies can be sustained for generations.  I will do whatever I can, whatever is in my power to bring the truth into the light; for my own healing, for other victims and even more importantly to prevent further abuse.

I found some energy and created a new piece. After I finished I was just totally exhausted.  My chest is still very tight and coughing hurts all over.  I think the body is still trying to tell me to rest. But hopefully I am on the upswing. Here's the piece, the colors in this one are very hard to photograph.  The main stones are a beautiful combination of a rust rose, tan, beige and grey.  I used complimentary smaller beads and added some gun metal and silver to complete this necklace.

At the beginning of March I am attending a jewelry making conference in Houston where I will be attending a bunch of workshops to expand my repertoire. I am really looking forward to it.  I love learning new things.  My mom is sending me to the conference as a birthday gift.  I hope to sell a few pieces before then because I need to purchase a bunch of supplies for these classes, and I just don't have the funds right now.  I will admit I am a little anxious about being in a large class with people I don't know.  My anxiety disorder rears its head on these occasions.  I never used to be anxious in these type of situations,  I rode the subway and/or bus everyday to and from school as a teen, public transportation in New York City, and I did just fine for the most part.  I think I do better when I don't have to interact with the individuals around me vs. an expectation of cordiality.  It seems like new situations and new people have me more and more anxious the older I get.  When I have a panic attack (aside from the dread, the sweating and the racing heart and thoughts) it goes to my intestines and bowls.  There is no feeling more humiliating and terrifying than having a panic attack and not knowing if you are going to get to a bathroom on time.  That intense reaction started after the abuse. I went to numerous doctors over the years and IBS was finally diagnosed, but having a name for it doesn't make it any better.  My daily meds keep it basically in check, but I am thankful that I can take Valium when needed.

On the sidebar of this blog I have created a BEJ Blog Button with a grab box.  If you have a webpage or blog of your own and would be willing to promote my blog, feel free to cut and paste the HTML code from the grab box to create my button on your page.  I'd be happy to do the same for you.

My links:

FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Getting Current & Solidifying Bonds

Today I finally caught up on posting the new items I've created.  I have a few left, but this listing marathon was long overdue.  All the boot bling is listed, including my new pieces for little girls.  The charm bracelets have been listed too.  It was a lot of work today but I am so glad its mostly finished.  I am very psyched as I used some of my holiday money to buy a new pair of cowboy boots.  My youngest daughter did too, and I can't wait to wear them out somewhere.  I used one of them today to photo a new piece of boot bling.

Here's my new boot with the new bling!

Now that most of the jewelry has been listed I hope I can use my time to be creative.  On the top of my list for this weekend however is seeing Les Miserables. The storm prevented us for seeing it the day after Christmas, so we are going to wait and have a nice dinner and movie date this weekend. Its been awhile since we've had a "date" and we are in serious need of some "us" time.  This whole smoking thing has me so upset - more because she lied to me and covered up her behavior than the actual smoking.  I desperately want her to quit, but more than that I want her to be able to be honest with me.  For a fleeting moment I thought about some kind of tit for tat, but it was fleeting - and my calm, rational side reminded me that two wrongs don't make a right. I just want us to be able to talk openly and honestly so that we grow closer.

My youngest daughter walked to Target for me today and just generally helped me out while I plugged along with photography, listings and marketing.  It was really nice having some company today while I did my work.  We really didn't say much to each other, but just the presence was nice.

I am not looking forward to taking down our tree.  It usually makes me cry. Getting it up is a hassle, but taking it down is just depressing.  I am tired now, but I did get a lot done today.  Hopefully tomorrow will be as productive.

Coming or Going?

Today was extremely hectic.  Running around most of the day I just keep waiting for some time to relax and be creative.  Tomorrow's outlook isn't much better either.  My anxiety was kinda high today - probably because I felt like I was in a perpetual state of "go".

I finally got our holiday cards out.  For my friends who celebrate Hanukkah, these cards might show up before the holiday is over - I hope.  Tonight was the third night of Hanukkah and although I only cooked the traditional foods on the first night, we lit the menorot, enjoyed each others' company and ate some yummy spaghetti and meat sauce.

Every time we start saying the blessings over the candles and singing, our basset hound Fred tries to engage our chihuahua Fiona in some play time by barking and wagging his tail at her.  She still has no idea what to do with him and she's still a bit uneasy given the major discrepancy in size between them. Nevertheless its funny to watch him try to play with her.

We woke up this morning to a pretty dusting of snow on things.  And it was COLD.  Generally speaking I am a New Yorker through and through but I have to admit I don't miss the weather.  Its days like this that I am thankful for our general climate here in Texas.  I put Fiona in her coat and her sweater today when we ran around being a teen taxi.  She looked very cute and drew a lot of attention everywhere we went.

I created one necklace today, but didn't have much time to market it.  I like it a lot, hopefully someone else will too.  I think the necklace and earrings make a beautiful Christmas or Hanukkah gift.

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully will allow for some substantial creative time.  For now the high anxiety today has me quite tired so I'm off to sleep.

Here are my various links:

Etsy: My Etsy Shop

Facebook: Facebook Page

Twitter: Twitter Profile

Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

Keep Calm and Chihuahua On

We came home from Quanah with an addition to our family. Meet Fiona, a seven month old chihuahua. I've been wanting a little dog to keep me company during the day and our friend is having trouble finding a place to live with her three chihuahuas so it worked out just perfectly.  She's already helping my anxiety.  She's been so sweet and hasn't left my side. I think we enjoy each others company.

It's been a very busy week getting ready for Hanukkah and Christmas too.  Fiona has come with me to stores, to visit my grandparents and on taxi trips for the kids.  I am really enjoying her company and its funny because I have always been a big dog person - somehow she's won my heart.

Because of the busyness of this week, I have only made a few pieces and I am feeling a bit detached from my creativity.   I hope to make some new things today as tomorrow night is the first night of Hanukkah and we haven't quite decided what our day and evening holds.  I will make latkes and maybe we will play dreidel.  Tonight is my partner's office holiday party.  The gathering is being held at Dave & Busters - a place I am not too fond of (I'm really not a video game player nor an arcade fan) but at least the food is good.  

My anxiety is quite a bit better, but I am kind of in a fog.  I am thinking this may get better with time on this new medication.  It's scary really the thought of all the medications and this new one being an anti-psychotic.  I so wish I could be happy and function without medications.  I know this is not likely to ever happen but its the season for miracles, right?

Here are my various links:

Etsy: My Etsy Shop

Facebook: Facebook Page

Twitter: Twitter Profile

Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

Some Small Town Success

I am blogging from my booth in Quanah, TX.  Once again it’s the boot bling that is selling.  I am frustrated because I know its commercialization that sells and not the artistic and creative stuff that I love to do.  I suppose in order to keep enjoying the creative process selling the bling is the way to go. 

My partner and I are both exhausted from the drive and then getting set up and ready around eight o’clock this morning.  Quanah has only one place to get fast food – the Sonic.  So it’ll be cheeseburgers and tater tots for lunch. 

Other than the exhaustion, this has been a good day.  Sold three boot bling and the custom orders I designed picked up as well.  A few people took my card and said they would be contacting me about some other custom orders too.  

I’m starting to revert to infancy – I have to pee, I am hungry and I am sleepy.  Maybe I should have a tantrum?  Probably not the most efficient way to make my needs known.  I intentionally packed up charms and beads so that I could create while I sat here. My stupidity took over and I left all of my tools at home.

My Facebook page hit 200 likes yesterday and to celebrate I am offering free shipping on all the items in my Etsy store for an entire week.  Just use coupon code: FB200 to take advantage of this offer.

Most of the craft show traffic has died down.  There may be another wave closer to the Christmas parade time.  They had a cupcake bake-off and I enjoyed a yellow cup cake with cream cheese frosting and coconut topping.  My anxiety is good today  - this new drug seems to be helping as long as I take it at the right time. 

Day is over and overall I think it went very well. Thanks to all the family and friends who helped with everything: Especially my mother-in-law who really helped to enhance the presentation of my pieces and helped us with set up and tear down.

We Miss You Jack

I know its been a few days, and for those of you who actually read this blog, I am sorry.  I really want to write everyday because I do find it therapeutic, but this weekend life got majorly in the way.  I cooked and cooked for our Thanksgiving dinner, and the food was fabulous.  But things did not go as planned.  Our friends came over as scheduled with their two Boston Terrier dogs.  We let them out to play with our two dogs, and while we chatted and carved the turkey, one of their dogs Jack, jumped in our pool and drowned.Words cannot express just how horrible we feel.  We tried to save him using CPR but apparently he was too far gone when we got to him.

Obviously our friends left to bury their sweet dog, and we were left with enough food to feed an army and a horrible sad pit in our stomach.  We've apologized and asked what if anything we can do, but under the circumstances there is nothing to be done.  I still feel just sick about the whole thing, and wish I could turn back time. Here is a picture of sweet Jack, he will be very missed.


After the Thanksgiving Day tragedy, we tried to calm down and relax.  Eventually we broke out the food and then headed to our local Walmart for some early Black Friday deals.  We were there for four very long hours but left with what we had come for.  We've been eating leftovers everyday and still have a ton of food.  We tried to get some friends to come over and eat, but this holiday weekend had everyone busy.We did however get our Hannaristmas tree and our outside lights up.  We have two menorot, two dreidels and a Jewish star ornament on our tree.  My partner has a peanuts addiction, so the tree is very Snoopy heavy as well.  We add one new ornament a year.  I love our tree, after all the sadness this weekend, it brought a smile to my face.
I am offering a Cyber Monday sale.  If you use coupon code CYBER20, you will receive 20% off your entire purchase at my Etsy store.  I hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend.  I will be selling my jewelry and crafts at three shows:  Quanah, TX on December 1st, Bowie, TX on December 8th-9th and McKinney, TX on December 14-16th.  Check out my Facebook page for more details.

I didn't bead much, and honestly was kinda sad this whole weekend which made it hard to be creative.  Between the untimely demise of Jack, and my kids not being with us I just wasn't myself.  

Here are my various links:

Etsy: My Etsy Shop

Facebook: Facebook Page

Twitter: Twitter Profile

Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

The Jewish Ham

"Sea & Sand"
https://www.etsy.com/listing/115636208/
handmade-turquoise-and-gold-toned-beaded

Took a while to fall asleep again last night, but my racing thoughts produced a pretty necklace this morning.  I wasn't up late beading, but I did remember what I was thinking as I fell asleep, and created this piece that reminds me of the sea and the sand.

On a funny note - and with a nod to yesterday's blog, this good Jewish girl from NYC cooked a ham last night for my partner's Thanksgiving meal at work.  I did this last year as well and apparently the "Jewish Ham" was requested again this year.

I am not a huge fan of ham, if I am going to be bad and eat pork, its going to be bacon.  When I kept kosher, bacon was  absolutely the hardest to give up.  I think the smell of cooking bacon might be powerful enough to raise me from the dead.

So, with all our Thanksgiving food stuffed into our refrigerator I cooked a ham.  We had to put it into a cooler full of ice last night since there was just no room left in the fridge.  It still feels kinda funny cooking a ham, eating bacon, etc., but not bad or guilty funny, just strange.  Maybe there is a part of me that feels bad and guilty, but obviously not a big enough part to change my behavior.

I think I still have one more piece in me today - at least I came up with one more while I was lying there hoping to fall asleep.  There is still the housework and the cooking as well, but I need to create the things that my imagination dreams up before I have a senior moment and forget them!

Wishing Time Would Stand Still

Today was amazing.  Finally really rested. Didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything.  We rested, cuddled with the dogs, watched movies, fixed my domain, redesigned this blog and ate comfort food.  These are the days I wish would never end.  But alas that pit in my stomach called Monday morning is slowly returning.

The dogs were equally lazy (not that most days for them aren't just like this one).  Damn it must be good to be a dog - at least one of our dogs -  LOL. 



Pastel drawing I did of Fred.

Once again being creative was not in the equation.  I was so tired from yesterday and SO happy to finally have some quiet time with my partner.  It's days like these when we reconnect and remember what brought us together to begin with.

I successfully walked to the mailbox today (no falling involved) and retrieved yesterday's mail which included some purchases I made for some custom orders I recently received.  I love getting fun things in the mail - I am such a child.  I have to open it up immediately and look through each item repeatedly.  Given the arrival of the new beads, charms and findings, I would've started on one of the pieces, but I still have a few more things I am waiting for. I will create something new tomorrow.

If you are reading this I hope your weekend was as enjoyable and relaxing as mine.  We all need time to recharge our batteries and reconnect with our loved ones.

Babies, Business and Being Calm

Did the baby shower thing today.  We’ve been to two in the last two weeks.  Everyone is pregnant at my partner’s work place, and it seems like each and every one of them is having a boy.  I honestly thought my baby shower years were over and done with.  I’m going to be 43 and most of my friends have already had their brood.  I have five, and I am certainly done with reproduction.  Every baby shower holds the same activities for its participants.  I can honestly say I am not interested in wrapping another streamer around anyone else’s pregnant belly.  My time is usually spent assuaging the expectant mother’s fears of labor, delivery and nursing.  My physique on the other hand does not leave them with much post-partum hope.

Currently we are on our way to Wichita Falls, “City Lights” parade.  We haven’t even celebrated Thanksgiving, and we are basically celebrating Christmas.  Attendance at this parade is an annual tradition for my partner’s family.  So we are driving three hours to stand in the cold and watch people walk or ride down the street throwing candy at kids.  I am wearing one of my new pieces – marketing, marketing, marketing.  And I am carrying my business cards just in case someone notices.  Someone did notice earlier at the baby shower so I am hoping for a new customer soon.

 

I drive a red mini cooper (whom I fondly named Maxine – I enjoy irony.) I love my car – we zip around town together getting all sorts of compliments.  I need to get a “Born to Bead” license plate cover and we will be the perfect pair. My partner is driving now and I feel nice and relaxed.  The weekends are better for my anxiety and depression – not being home alone helps tremendously.  Beads and dogs are great but they seriously lack conversational skills. 

 

Christmas Before Thanksgiving

Won’t be able to bead today (unless of course I can’t sleep again).  I miss the creative process when I cannot engage in it.  But today is about business promotion.  Gave a card out at the shower, and maybe I can hand one more out today (if I don’t freeze to death). Gonna spend some quality time with the woman I love and with family. Weekends are always too short.

My nephew is on this float somewhere - with his cub scout troup.

The Car, The Curb & The Cure

I guess the wrong Gods were listening when I mentioned yesterday that I didn't want to go to therapy.  Of course the remedy for this desire just caused an entirely new problem.  My partner called me at 5:45 yesterday afternoon only to tell me that her car wouldn't start and I needed to come get her. Another added and unexpected expense. Oh well, it happens to everyone and we just need to work our way through it. Maybe its just the battery? We can only hope. Bah humbug to the Car Gods!

Today I decided to make a bracelet since I never make bracelets.  I really don't know why I don't, I guess i just really enjoy necklaces. The piece I made today kinda brought the bling together with the natural. LOL.  I like it, even though I am not a bling person in the least.

To top things all off, on my way to check the mail (hoping for some new supplies I ordered) I came down off of the curb wrong, twisted my ankle and then fell to my hands and knees.  This would not be so bad if I didn't already have arthritis in all those places!  So needless to say, I am hurting all over today and hoping our car repair doesn't break our bank.

I love creating new things.  I may still have another piece in me today, but I am resting all my joints for a little while and thought it would be a good time to blog.

When I fell, it was just for a moment that I felt completely alone.  There was no one on our street and I was in pain, laying there hoping that I could manage to make it to my feet and hobble home. Of course I did, and when I opened the door my basset hound Fred (who likely heard me yelp in pain) was at the door eagerly awaiting my return.  It felt good to have him right there when I got back.  He hasn't left my side since.  Dogs are such amazing beings.  We have two; Fred (the basset) and Harley (the standard daschund/chow?/corgi???).  They both like to lie right near me while I bead which also helps with my anxiety.  I am beginning to think I need a little dog to carry around and keep the anxiety at bay when the two big ones can't be with me. LOL!

Fred and Harley resting while I bead.

Here are my various links:
Etsy: My Etsy Shop
Facebook: Facebook Page
Twitter: Twitter Profile
Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

Purple Polymer Clay and Me

Today I have been so busy - which is good when you have severe anxiety.  I have almost been too busy to be distressed.  I try very hard to keep myself busy for this very reason, but sometimes a bout of depression makes it very difficult to stay motivated.  I completed a piece today that maybe no one will buy, but it was fun and I let my imagination have a good time with it.

My favorite color is purple, so I decided to play with some purple polymer clay and see what happened.  This is what I got.

Now that the piece is finished and promoted on Etsy, Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter, I thought it would be a good time to blog.  I have therapy tonight and I absolutely do not want to go.  I don't really know why I don't want to, I just don't.  I think part of it is I feel like I am spinning my wheels.  I take my meds (a whole lot of em'), and I use as many coping skills as I can to function daily - sometimes its not enough and I still don't really show up in my own life.  I know I am fighting a depression right now and this has made it difficult to function in general. I feel like I am constantly fighting an uphill battle.

I feel guilty too because I can spend a few functional hours doing something I love, like designing jewelry, drawing, painting etc., but then when I am asked to do simple things at home like a load of laundry or a sink of dishes I can't seem to get my act together.  Sometimes I really miss the old me, the unmedicated me who although I was hypomanic most of the time, could do SO much in a day and do it well; and then continue to do it day after day.

My kids come to our house tomorrow.  This is always a challenge as I want so desperately to be engaged with them, yet the two who are still at home are both teens and want nothing more than to be unengaged and independent.  Teens are not much fun.  

In the beginning...

It may be odd to blog about making jewelry, or the creative process, but its so much more for me than that.  I started making jewelry a number of years ago and found it to be both a very relaxing endeavor and something to occupy my mind and use my creative skills.  As the years progressed friends and family thought I should sell my work. I've decided to give it a try and it's very validating to have complete strangers tell you they think your work is beautiful.

Jewelry making was a hobby at first, an outlet for me.  It has truly become a life saving venture.  I suffer from bi-polar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder all of which have put me on disability and have made it nearly impossible to work in a standard setting.  I worked for many years. Even staying diligently on all of my medications, my anxiety in particular has become debilitating. Sitting calmly with my beads focuses me, and even if only for a brief time I am relaxed.  

I take a lot of time with each piece I create.  I enjoy working with many media.  In addition to creating jewelry, I paint, draw and sing.  Every day I try to make the time to do something creative. Today for instance I created a piece that I probably wouldn't wear, but my family and friends have asked repeatedly that I try to create things with a bit more "bling".  So on occasion I work with sparkly things.  Here is a picture of what I created today:

In order to promote my work, I have created an Etsy Store, a Facebook page, I have been "pinning" some of my items on Pinterest and Tweeting.  It takes a lot of effort to get my work out there but my partner helps me as much as she can.

Even medicated and in therapy its so hard controlling my behaviors and emotions.  I struggle every day and there are many days I get very tired of the struggle.  The creative outlets are so important as they bring value to being and hopefully some beauty into the world.

Each day I will try and blog about my creations, my daily struggles and my coping mechanisms.  Maybe someone will be interested in reading this crazy lady's blog. LOL

Here are my various links:
Etsy: My Etsy Shop
Facebook: Facebook Page
Twitter: Twitter Profile
Pinterest: Pinterest Profile