Funny or Cry

Jam packed a lot into the last few days.  Therapy was cathartic and helpful.  The weekend was great and Super Bowl Sunday was a ton of fun with family, friends and a lot of good food.  I made barbeque wings, meatball sliders, spinach and artichoke dip, and queso. Our friends brought egg rolls. And for desert I made more of those delicious oatmeal raisin cookies and decadent reeses peanut butter cupcakes.  Here are some photos of the food.

Before all of that we did a bit of shopping and then Skyped with my eldest daughter who is learning this semester in Spain.  It was so good to see her, and hear her voice.  She is having a blast and doing great. Her funny stories of mis-spoken Spanish kept all of us laughing.  She's been to Barcelona and France in addition to living in a beautiful basque region of Spain. I miss her but I am so glad she is having the time of her life and getting to see Europe.

Monday I took care of my grandpa who is suffering from dementia. In his lucid moments he is a hoot. He makes me laugh, and I hate to watch him lose touch with reality. My grandma had to go to the doctor and run some errands so I stayed with him most of the day.  Having not grown up with my grandpa, it is really hard because I feel like I didn't get enough time with him. I don't know how much longer he will know who I am.  This is especially hard for me since I lost both of my adoptive parents to dementia. It was a great day with him.  I brought him one of the cupcakes I had made and he absolutely loved it.  We laughed a lot and he told me some old family stories. My wife helped out too by doing their tax return and putting a wine rack together that my grandma bought. Grandma was so thankful for all the help.  I honestly don't know how she does it everyday. He woke up the night before insisting that the house was on fire.  I love them both so much and I hate to watch this happen (him deteriorate and her struggle to care for him).

Royal Rose

While grandpa slept I created this necklace. This is the second necklace I have made using these beads.  I think they are just gorgeous. The first necklace sold, and took a different turn accentuating the off white tones of the beads.  This time I focused on the lavender, rose and gold tones. Click the link to find out more in my Etsy store.

Boho Autumn Necklace

Here is my JET Team love for the day. Beautiful earthy colors. Click the caption to find out more.

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Self-worth and Satisfaction

Today was very productive.  In the last two days I've sold three pieces, made three and begun to learn a new skill.  One of the sales was my first international order.  It was to Canada, which never really felt foreign to me because as a child we visited Montreal and Toronto at least once a year. Shipping costs did just go up, and with the USPS struggling the way it is shipping things anywhere has become really prohibitive. 

The three pieces I made are custom orders for a bridal party.  These are just the samples really, but I am hoping the bride will order the pieces for her bridal party.  She is having a country western theme and her colors are a variety of purples.  She wanted boot jewelry for herself, her bridesmaids and her flower girl.  Now its just a matter of her budget - which I of all people totally understand. Here are the pieces I created.

Bride's Boot Bling

Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Flower Girl Boot Bling

Bride & Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Bride & Flower Girl Boot Bling

There is something so satisfying and self-affirming when someone enjoys something you've created.  So few things give me a sense of self worth.  I know that doesn't sound good, but its something I've struggled with my whole life.  I know some of it stems from the abuse, and some of it from the abandonment I feel having been adopted and never connecting with my adoptive family. But creating brings me joy and when it brings joy to others there is a deep satisfaction.  

Here is my JET Team love for the day the shop is ShazzabethCreations: (Just click on the caption to find out more!)

Charoite & Lampwork Gold Wired Necklace

Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully it will bring me continued satisfaction. I think I need to work with clay again; Mold something from nothing with my hands. 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                   https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:         http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

Feelin' the Love

Got a lot done with some photos today.  These are my own of course, I meet with the photographer on Saturday. None of these pieces are listed on Etsy yet, but I will get to posting them later today or tomorrow.  I am kind of anxious today, anxious and tired - not a fun combination. Maybe getting out later (even though its for a doctor) will be good for me.

I made a really cool piece last night. I think its kinda unisex. I like it a lot.  Being the Jewish part of this pair (and really more of an agnostic), I don't really wear crosses. I think they can be beautiful and I like to create necklaces using them.

Throughout the day my wife calls me and we chat about nothing, and anything at all.  I like to hear her voice and know she's thinking about me. I text her, because I never know if its a good time to call. A lot of the texts and calls are just to say "I love you" or "I miss you". Sometimes those little things keep me going throughout the day, especially when I am anxious or sad.

Now that I am mostly healthy again I need to get back to seeing my therapist.  Talking to him about this possible law suit would really be helpful right now. Our money is so tight right now even making one appointment is cost prohibitive as the new year has started, and hence so has our deductible. I really like my therapist, and its the first time in a long time that I have had such a good relationship with a therapist.  It took over a decade really to find the right combination of psychiatrist, therapist and medication.  Even still we tweak things all the time, but I feel like I am heading in the right direction, and I have a good team behind me.  That team, and my wife, my kids, my mom and my mother-in-law, have all made suffering from bipolar disorder, OCD, and anxiety disorder easier now than it had been in the past. I still struggle daily with a variety of issues, but knowing all these people are in my corner, pulling for me helps tremendously. Its sad because I know that so many people who suffer from mental illness don't have the support system I do.  Maybe someday I will be well enough to help some of my "brothers and sisters in arms" with their struggle. I know when I have heard stories and feelings shared by others who suffer from similar disorders it has helped me feel less alone.

Red Creek Jasper Necklace

Gotta get ready for the doc. Here is today's JET Team love:

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:        http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

Promoting, Obsessing and Blogging

Finally sat down and made a necklace and some earrings. Got them listed on Etsy, onto FB, tweeted and pinned - whew! This social networking thing is a lot of work, LOL. I am going to meet with a photographer this weekend to see about getting some better shots of my jewelry.  I am pretty good at taking pictures, but I think someone with some commercial photography experience would be a huge asset. Here's the piece I completed and promoted today: (The caption is a link to the Etsy posting.)

Turquoise, Red, Brown & Silver Chunky Multi-Strand Necklace

The attorney's office got back with me today.  I asked the paralegal when they were wanting a face to face meeting, but the answer was kind of ambiguous, "I would imagine at some point in the near future we’d like to get together with you." I knew that already. I was hoping for something more specific, like - let's shoot for two weeks or three weeks?  My anxiety kicks in when there are too many unknowns and in this situation it feels like everything is unknown.

I am trying to stay grounded and not let this take over my life.  When I get obsessive I tend to get hypo manic. My mood has been pretty good though and I am taking my meds everyday. I check in with the doctor on Thursday and hopefully he won't change my meds again. He tried me on some OCD medication, but it didn't seem to really do much. I am concerned about the ruminating thoughts and slight paranoia but I will discuss it all with him, and see if he wants to change the cocktail again.  Maybe he will just while I am going through all this rehashing of such a painful time for me.

Recycled Reclaimed Bronze Lotus Leaf Petal Earrings

Being a member of the JET team, we are asked to promote some of the other member's items and shops.  Everyday they chose a different shop to spotlight and the team members promote an item(s) from that shop. That being said, here's a pretty little pair of earrings from a fellow JET Team member. I love their simplicity and delicate nature. Her Etsy shop, RusticRockJewelry has some very pretty items. (The caption is a link to the Etsy posting.)

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                   https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:         http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Life Happens

Change is hard.  I try to embrace it, but my anxiety takes over with all the "what ifs".  My wife may be starting a job with a very new company in the very very near future.  This wouldn't be so terrifying if I was able to work too, or if my jewelry business brought in a decent income, but for now she is the main bread winner and the risk is scary. That combined with the potential lawsuit feels kinda overwhelming - quite a bit of change all at once. I need some time post illness to ground myself in a routine - that would help quite a bit with new transitions. But of course you can't plan change it just seems to happen.

I made two pieces yesterday, one in turquoise and silver, and the other in red, black and white.  A more natural stone one, and a blingy one. I'll be posting them both on Etsy later today.

My head is kinda spinning and I am trying to navigate my way through everything going on in my life right now.  I think I need to make a list so that I can feel some sense of control (albeit imaginary). Honestly I don't even feel capable of making a list. I hate when my brain moves so quickly that I can't focus or relax or think.  If this lasts too long I'll wind up with an anxiety attack. Probably need to take my Valium and relax for a bit.  Then if that does its job I can try my hand at list making.

If my wife takes this new job she will be able to work from home quite a bit and that is a major plus. Having her around makes me happy and alleviates the loneliness I feel often at home by myself.

Today I pick the kids up for the weekend.  I am looking forward to seeing them. It's hard to make plans to do stuff when you have teenagers - they don't want to do very much (other than with their friends of course). It would be fun to do something with them - but my two youngest are a boy and a girl, 15 and 13 - they can barely agree on dinner let alone a family activity.  We might be able to agree on a board game.  That's quality time and free - I like that combination.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I have to take deep breaths, pet my puppies and take some Valium.

My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Moody Monday... woops its Tuesday!

Woke up to a beautiful carpet of snow on our front lawn.  My wife got to go into work a bit late, and we had a nice relaxing morning.  Its really quite cold here - not what one expects in Texas.  We are not getting too much above freezing today, and the sky is just gray and dreary.  The basset hound has the right idea this morning.

Maybe its the weather, or just not being able to shake this upper respiratory infection - but I am feeling kinda down today.  I'm taking all my meds and trying to get healthy.  Haven't sold much recently with the exception of a few custom orders.  If I didn't love creating the things I create, I'm fairly certain I'd be ready to throw in the towel.  They are not kidding when they talk about the struggling artist. 

I will try and create a new piece of jewelry today I just need to find the motivation.  I have been enjoying the little bit of painting I've been doing.  I might offer the hand painted personalized onesies for sale in my Etsy shop. They are fun to make and I like the individuality of personalizing them. I bought a three pack of onesies so I decided to paint the last one for our other friend who just had a baby boy too. They did his room with a cowboy theme, so here is what I painted for Rylan:

Another lunch of chicken soup under my belt, cold medicine pumping though my veins and my trusty tissue box by my side.  I'll rest a bit longer and then I'll bead.  Maybe some colorful beads will lift my mood.








My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

On The Mend?

Well, the attorney called back like he said he would.  I'm beginning to wonder if he passed the bar! :) LOL  It's refreshing to deal with someone who keeps their word.  Apparently they are willing to pursue legal action against this former rabbi, and the institution which looked the other way and covered everything up.  I want to pinch myself to be sure its true.  Is it possible that the truth will finally come to light? That his current flock of sheep will realize they are being led by a wolf?  I so desperately want to let that glimmer of hope shine, but my rational and practical side reminds me that the good guys don't always win, and lies can be sustained for generations.  I will do whatever I can, whatever is in my power to bring the truth into the light; for my own healing, for other victims and even more importantly to prevent further abuse.

I found some energy and created a new piece. After I finished I was just totally exhausted.  My chest is still very tight and coughing hurts all over.  I think the body is still trying to tell me to rest. But hopefully I am on the upswing. Here's the piece, the colors in this one are very hard to photograph.  The main stones are a beautiful combination of a rust rose, tan, beige and grey.  I used complimentary smaller beads and added some gun metal and silver to complete this necklace.

At the beginning of March I am attending a jewelry making conference in Houston where I will be attending a bunch of workshops to expand my repertoire. I am really looking forward to it.  I love learning new things.  My mom is sending me to the conference as a birthday gift.  I hope to sell a few pieces before then because I need to purchase a bunch of supplies for these classes, and I just don't have the funds right now.  I will admit I am a little anxious about being in a large class with people I don't know.  My anxiety disorder rears its head on these occasions.  I never used to be anxious in these type of situations,  I rode the subway and/or bus everyday to and from school as a teen, public transportation in New York City, and I did just fine for the most part.  I think I do better when I don't have to interact with the individuals around me vs. an expectation of cordiality.  It seems like new situations and new people have me more and more anxious the older I get.  When I have a panic attack (aside from the dread, the sweating and the racing heart and thoughts) it goes to my intestines and bowls.  There is no feeling more humiliating and terrifying than having a panic attack and not knowing if you are going to get to a bathroom on time.  That intense reaction started after the abuse. I went to numerous doctors over the years and IBS was finally diagnosed, but having a name for it doesn't make it any better.  My daily meds keep it basically in check, but I am thankful that I can take Valium when needed.

On the sidebar of this blog I have created a BEJ Blog Button with a grab box.  If you have a webpage or blog of your own and would be willing to promote my blog, feel free to cut and paste the HTML code from the grab box to create my button on your page.  I'd be happy to do the same for you.

My links:

FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Getting Current & Solidifying Bonds

Today I finally caught up on posting the new items I've created.  I have a few left, but this listing marathon was long overdue.  All the boot bling is listed, including my new pieces for little girls.  The charm bracelets have been listed too.  It was a lot of work today but I am so glad its mostly finished.  I am very psyched as I used some of my holiday money to buy a new pair of cowboy boots.  My youngest daughter did too, and I can't wait to wear them out somewhere.  I used one of them today to photo a new piece of boot bling.

Here's my new boot with the new bling!

Now that most of the jewelry has been listed I hope I can use my time to be creative.  On the top of my list for this weekend however is seeing Les Miserables. The storm prevented us for seeing it the day after Christmas, so we are going to wait and have a nice dinner and movie date this weekend. Its been awhile since we've had a "date" and we are in serious need of some "us" time.  This whole smoking thing has me so upset - more because she lied to me and covered up her behavior than the actual smoking.  I desperately want her to quit, but more than that I want her to be able to be honest with me.  For a fleeting moment I thought about some kind of tit for tat, but it was fleeting - and my calm, rational side reminded me that two wrongs don't make a right. I just want us to be able to talk openly and honestly so that we grow closer.

My youngest daughter walked to Target for me today and just generally helped me out while I plugged along with photography, listings and marketing.  It was really nice having some company today while I did my work.  We really didn't say much to each other, but just the presence was nice.

I am not looking forward to taking down our tree.  It usually makes me cry. Getting it up is a hassle, but taking it down is just depressing.  I am tired now, but I did get a lot done today.  Hopefully tomorrow will be as productive.

Fiona the Service Chihuahua?

Last night a big storm passed through - it didn't last long, but it blew our Christmas lights off the roof of the house and scared the bejeebers out of the dogs.  I wrapped more gifts last night (I only thought I was done the other day - LOL) and worked on the photos I took of my new pieces.  I am starting to come out of the sadness fog, but for now its still there in the back of my mind.  I push it there so that it isn't all consuming.  I bead, I write, I wrap... it works for me.

I am looking forward to Christmas - my wife will be off Saturday through Wednesday.  We are doing Christmas in Quanah (which might wind up being a white one), and then we'll go see Les Misérables. I also want to see The Hobbit during the break.  I am not a huge movie buff, but those stories are two of my favorite.  I saw Les Mis on Broadway more times than I can count and we just saw it here at Bass Hall in Fort Worth.

My anxiety has been going up as my depression about Newtown has continued.  I am seriously considering having Fiona be my service animal.  I know my psychiatrist would approve it as she significantly reduces my anxiety and would prevent me from behaving improperly when I'm manic.  Taking her with me when I go places is nice and having to think about her at all times reduces my racing thoughts about other things.

Tonight we will be watching our youngest play basketball at her middle school.  This is always nerve wracking for me, but she loves when we come to watch.  I will not lock myself out of the house tonight.  What a sorry excuse that would be for missing your kid's basketball game!

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

Etsy:                    http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

FB:                      https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:                https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:             http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

The Holiday Season

So far I've had more time to be productive today.  My anxiety is fairly low and my mood could be best described as "stable".  Although this new medication (an anti-psychotic) seems to be helping there is a bit of lethargy attached to it.  Got a new piece made and then was able to promote it, and another one I had made some time back.  Here are the new creations:

Tonight is the last night we have the kids this Hanukkah - they go to their dad's tomorrow after school to finish out the holiday with him.  I don't know why its so difficult to celebrate the remainder of the holiday without them, but its always been weird - kinda like Hanukkah is four nights, not eight.  Its been that way for years and you'd think I would be used to it by now, but it never seems to get easier.  At least we get them for Christmas every year since their dad celebrates only Hanukkah.

We are almost done with our Christmas shopping - down to two gifts I think.  I just finished a piece I am giving as a Christmas gift to my sister-in-law.  She is a hair stylist and really enjoys what she does.  She's very into bling and hopefully will absolutely love this.

I am trying to get some pieces ready for our show at McKinney Trade Days. I am looking forward to this fair, and hope the pedestrian traffic is good. The weather is supposed to cooperate and reach the mid to upper sixties both Saturday and Sunday.  It hasn't felt much like the holiday season with our weather being so mild. We've had a few cold days and that dusting of snow, but it still kinda feels like it should be Thanksgiving approaching and not Christmas.

Here's a link to the McKinney Trade Days website/map, our booth is on Herman Drive, spot 114.  McKinney Third Monday Trade Days Map Maybe some of you who read this blog will stop by!
Here are my various links:

Etsy: My Etsy Shop

Facebook: Facebook Page

Twitter: Twitter Profile

Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

Coming or Going?

Today was extremely hectic.  Running around most of the day I just keep waiting for some time to relax and be creative.  Tomorrow's outlook isn't much better either.  My anxiety was kinda high today - probably because I felt like I was in a perpetual state of "go".

I finally got our holiday cards out.  For my friends who celebrate Hanukkah, these cards might show up before the holiday is over - I hope.  Tonight was the third night of Hanukkah and although I only cooked the traditional foods on the first night, we lit the menorot, enjoyed each others' company and ate some yummy spaghetti and meat sauce.

Every time we start saying the blessings over the candles and singing, our basset hound Fred tries to engage our chihuahua Fiona in some play time by barking and wagging his tail at her.  She still has no idea what to do with him and she's still a bit uneasy given the major discrepancy in size between them. Nevertheless its funny to watch him try to play with her.

We woke up this morning to a pretty dusting of snow on things.  And it was COLD.  Generally speaking I am a New Yorker through and through but I have to admit I don't miss the weather.  Its days like this that I am thankful for our general climate here in Texas.  I put Fiona in her coat and her sweater today when we ran around being a teen taxi.  She looked very cute and drew a lot of attention everywhere we went.

I created one necklace today, but didn't have much time to market it.  I like it a lot, hopefully someone else will too.  I think the necklace and earrings make a beautiful Christmas or Hanukkah gift.

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully will allow for some substantial creative time.  For now the high anxiety today has me quite tired so I'm off to sleep.

Here are my various links:

Etsy: My Etsy Shop

Facebook: Facebook Page

Twitter: Twitter Profile

Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

Keep Calm and Chihuahua On

We came home from Quanah with an addition to our family. Meet Fiona, a seven month old chihuahua. I've been wanting a little dog to keep me company during the day and our friend is having trouble finding a place to live with her three chihuahuas so it worked out just perfectly.  She's already helping my anxiety.  She's been so sweet and hasn't left my side. I think we enjoy each others company.

It's been a very busy week getting ready for Hanukkah and Christmas too.  Fiona has come with me to stores, to visit my grandparents and on taxi trips for the kids.  I am really enjoying her company and its funny because I have always been a big dog person - somehow she's won my heart.

Because of the busyness of this week, I have only made a few pieces and I am feeling a bit detached from my creativity.   I hope to make some new things today as tomorrow night is the first night of Hanukkah and we haven't quite decided what our day and evening holds.  I will make latkes and maybe we will play dreidel.  Tonight is my partner's office holiday party.  The gathering is being held at Dave & Busters - a place I am not too fond of (I'm really not a video game player nor an arcade fan) but at least the food is good.  

My anxiety is quite a bit better, but I am kind of in a fog.  I am thinking this may get better with time on this new medication.  It's scary really the thought of all the medications and this new one being an anti-psychotic.  I so wish I could be happy and function without medications.  I know this is not likely to ever happen but its the season for miracles, right?

Here are my various links:

Etsy: My Etsy Shop

Facebook: Facebook Page

Twitter: Twitter Profile

Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

Some Small Town Success

I am blogging from my booth in Quanah, TX.  Once again it’s the boot bling that is selling.  I am frustrated because I know its commercialization that sells and not the artistic and creative stuff that I love to do.  I suppose in order to keep enjoying the creative process selling the bling is the way to go. 

My partner and I are both exhausted from the drive and then getting set up and ready around eight o’clock this morning.  Quanah has only one place to get fast food – the Sonic.  So it’ll be cheeseburgers and tater tots for lunch. 

Other than the exhaustion, this has been a good day.  Sold three boot bling and the custom orders I designed picked up as well.  A few people took my card and said they would be contacting me about some other custom orders too.  

I’m starting to revert to infancy – I have to pee, I am hungry and I am sleepy.  Maybe I should have a tantrum?  Probably not the most efficient way to make my needs known.  I intentionally packed up charms and beads so that I could create while I sat here. My stupidity took over and I left all of my tools at home.

My Facebook page hit 200 likes yesterday and to celebrate I am offering free shipping on all the items in my Etsy store for an entire week.  Just use coupon code: FB200 to take advantage of this offer.

Most of the craft show traffic has died down.  There may be another wave closer to the Christmas parade time.  They had a cupcake bake-off and I enjoyed a yellow cup cake with cream cheese frosting and coconut topping.  My anxiety is good today  - this new drug seems to be helping as long as I take it at the right time. 

Day is over and overall I think it went very well. Thanks to all the family and friends who helped with everything: Especially my mother-in-law who really helped to enhance the presentation of my pieces and helped us with set up and tear down.

Boot Bling & Basketball

Today was a very busy day and now I can't sleep so I'm blogging.  I created a few new pieces today but had no time to upload them onto my Etsy shop.  I'm making a bunch of boot bling in anticipation of my local North Texas shows since it seems that these seem to be selling rather well.  Here's a preview of what I will be adding to the shop ASAP.

Took my new meds too late last night and then couldn't wake up till around 10 o'clock this morning. I somehow need to remember to take my evening pills around 9:15 9:30 so that I have a morning the next day. Even though I took my meds late again I have to wake up tomorrow because the kids are here and I need to get them to school.  We watched my youngest play basketball this evening with her middle school team.  She scored 11 points and her team won - overall a pretty good evening for her with the exception of one play which had us all laughing so hard we almost fell off the bleachers.  It's hard to describe really other than to say that her team mate attempted to pass her the ball, she was unaware of the pass and once cognizant managed to miss it entirely as it flew directly over her landing just out of reach.  On paper - not so funny.  But trust me if you had been there you'd have been laughing.

My anxiety makes it difficult to attend team sports.  It's even more difficult when one of my children is playing.  I get so into it.  When the ref makes calls I'm not happy with, or our team screws up I get very worked up.  The let down if we lose is difficult too.  I just feel things more intensely than the average person and although at times it can be good, most of the time it sucks.

Saturday is our Quanah show.  We have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow evening.  Why have a show in a bitty town like Quanah you might ask?  Well, my parter's family lives there, that is where she grew up.  I do Bowie Trade Days for a similar reason, my mom lives there.  I enjoy doing the shows even though the sales have not been good.  I have faith that some day this will turn around and my jewelry will start selling at shows.  Wish us luck.

Cowgirls and Cocktails

Funny really that its the boot bling thats selling.  I'm not complaining, its just funny. In response I've made more to replenish the three that have sold.   Here are pics of the two recently created pieces I added to my Etsy store.  I guess I find it funny because I rarely wear boots, I am a New Yorker and in no way a cowgirl.  But they are fun to make and boot wearers love em'.

Check it out at my Etsy Store

Check it out at my Etsy Store

We Miss You Jack

I know its been a few days, and for those of you who actually read this blog, I am sorry.  I really want to write everyday because I do find it therapeutic, but this weekend life got majorly in the way.  I cooked and cooked for our Thanksgiving dinner, and the food was fabulous.  But things did not go as planned.  Our friends came over as scheduled with their two Boston Terrier dogs.  We let them out to play with our two dogs, and while we chatted and carved the turkey, one of their dogs Jack, jumped in our pool and drowned.Words cannot express just how horrible we feel.  We tried to save him using CPR but apparently he was too far gone when we got to him.

Obviously our friends left to bury their sweet dog, and we were left with enough food to feed an army and a horrible sad pit in our stomach.  We've apologized and asked what if anything we can do, but under the circumstances there is nothing to be done.  I still feel just sick about the whole thing, and wish I could turn back time. Here is a picture of sweet Jack, he will be very missed.


After the Thanksgiving Day tragedy, we tried to calm down and relax.  Eventually we broke out the food and then headed to our local Walmart for some early Black Friday deals.  We were there for four very long hours but left with what we had come for.  We've been eating leftovers everyday and still have a ton of food.  We tried to get some friends to come over and eat, but this holiday weekend had everyone busy.We did however get our Hannaristmas tree and our outside lights up.  We have two menorot, two dreidels and a Jewish star ornament on our tree.  My partner has a peanuts addiction, so the tree is very Snoopy heavy as well.  We add one new ornament a year.  I love our tree, after all the sadness this weekend, it brought a smile to my face.
I am offering a Cyber Monday sale.  If you use coupon code CYBER20, you will receive 20% off your entire purchase at my Etsy store.  I hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend.  I will be selling my jewelry and crafts at three shows:  Quanah, TX on December 1st, Bowie, TX on December 8th-9th and McKinney, TX on December 14-16th.  Check out my Facebook page for more details.

I didn't bead much, and honestly was kinda sad this whole weekend which made it hard to be creative.  Between the untimely demise of Jack, and my kids not being with us I just wasn't myself.  

Here are my various links:

Etsy: My Etsy Shop

Facebook: Facebook Page

Twitter: Twitter Profile

Pinterest: Pinterest Profile

Hypoturkeymania

"My Love"
Etsy Listing

Another racing mind sleepless night.  Slept roughly 3 hours last night, but on the up side I created a beautiful piece that will be hard to part with once it sells.  Its funny how this came to be.  I started off wanting to sculpt two women in an embrace.  I created one polymer clay female, and no matter what I did the second one was too large to really look like a woman, so I decided to turn it into a man.  So, for all my heterosexual friends out there, here is my new piece called: "My Love".  I intend to do a series of these, and will have one with two women and one with two men.

I am fairly certain I am in a mild hypomania.  The only good thing about this is that I will be able to get all of Thanksgiving taken care of with one hand tied behind my back.  A mild hypomanic state can be a blessing - it lifts the fog and jump starts my motivation.  I can't maintain too many days with little sleep. After a few days I usually crash and then it starts all over again.  If the past is any indication, this will only last for a few weeks.

Doubt I'll get to bead or blog tomorrow, but I guess taking a day off is a good thing.  Looking forward to some time with friends and some good traditional Thanksgiving food. I am making a turkey and all the fixins'.  Our friends are bringing a pumpkin cheesecake, and probably some wine.  It should be really nice.

I always wanted my house to be the place everyone came for the holidays.  No matter what I do it doesn't seem to work that way.  Maybe once all the kids are grown they will come home for the holidays, and the house will be packed.  I can only hope.  Wishing everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving, and please send your good vibes and/or prayers to the innocent civilians in the Middle East (we have a lot to be thankful for here in the United States).

Use coupon code BLOGGER20 and receive 20% of your purchase from my Etsy store on Black Friday!

The Jewish Ham

"Sea & Sand"
https://www.etsy.com/listing/115636208/
handmade-turquoise-and-gold-toned-beaded

Took a while to fall asleep again last night, but my racing thoughts produced a pretty necklace this morning.  I wasn't up late beading, but I did remember what I was thinking as I fell asleep, and created this piece that reminds me of the sea and the sand.

On a funny note - and with a nod to yesterday's blog, this good Jewish girl from NYC cooked a ham last night for my partner's Thanksgiving meal at work.  I did this last year as well and apparently the "Jewish Ham" was requested again this year.

I am not a huge fan of ham, if I am going to be bad and eat pork, its going to be bacon.  When I kept kosher, bacon was  absolutely the hardest to give up.  I think the smell of cooking bacon might be powerful enough to raise me from the dead.

So, with all our Thanksgiving food stuffed into our refrigerator I cooked a ham.  We had to put it into a cooler full of ice last night since there was just no room left in the fridge.  It still feels kinda funny cooking a ham, eating bacon, etc., but not bad or guilty funny, just strange.  Maybe there is a part of me that feels bad and guilty, but obviously not a big enough part to change my behavior.

I think I still have one more piece in me today - at least I came up with one more while I was lying there hoping to fall asleep.  There is still the housework and the cooking as well, but I need to create the things that my imagination dreams up before I have a senior moment and forget them!

Dreidels and Diversity

I am not your typical Texan. Here in the bible belt being a mentally ill, Jewish, lesbian, adoptee engaged to a Southern Baptist has its draw backs.  If I were not Caucasian, the state might just spit me out entirely.  That being said, I intend to create some jewelry that reflects who I am.  Now I am no girly girl, and I really don't like bling, but in the spirit of enterprise I created this Hanukkah charm bracelet.

I intend to make some Hanukkah pieces that are more my style, and maybe some gay pride jewelry too.  We celebrate Hanaristmas at our house and its a lot of fun since we light menorot and we have a beautiful tree (which has some Hannukah ornaments on it) as well.  Each night of Hanukkah we light our menorot and the kids pick a present from under the tree - LOL.  I make latkes and if we are so inclined we will play a game of dreidel.  We celebrate Christmas with my partner's family and my birth family.

This may all sound very confusing to you, but it works for us and the holidays are a special time for me.  I was raised Jewish and as a child I was jealous of all the kids who had Christmas trees at home.  Being Jewish is a part of who I am.  I was just jealous of the pretty tree.  Now I have the best of both worlds in our home.

This week being Thanksgiving, we decided that we are going to stay home and have our own dinner with friends since the kids will not be with us.  It will be fun and highly diverse - our friends who are agnostic and atheist and expecting a baby any day now, their brother, my partner, myself and possibly four dogs.  Wish we could invite some Asian, African American and Hispanic folks to our table.  I guess my love of diversity is the New Yorker in me.

Everyday is a new day - today my meds are making me very drowsy.  I figure its the meds because I slept well.  I think I am coming out of my depressive state and moving into a mixed state right now. What will "normal" look like for me?  Where will I be after staying on medication for a long time and remaining in therapy?  I know the answer to that will only come with time.

Being the cook in the house I am off to shop for my eclectic Thanksgiving meal. Thanks for reading and I'd love any comments.

Wishing Time Would Stand Still

Today was amazing.  Finally really rested. Didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything.  We rested, cuddled with the dogs, watched movies, fixed my domain, redesigned this blog and ate comfort food.  These are the days I wish would never end.  But alas that pit in my stomach called Monday morning is slowly returning.

The dogs were equally lazy (not that most days for them aren't just like this one).  Damn it must be good to be a dog - at least one of our dogs -  LOL. 



Pastel drawing I did of Fred.

Once again being creative was not in the equation.  I was so tired from yesterday and SO happy to finally have some quiet time with my partner.  It's days like these when we reconnect and remember what brought us together to begin with.

I successfully walked to the mailbox today (no falling involved) and retrieved yesterday's mail which included some purchases I made for some custom orders I recently received.  I love getting fun things in the mail - I am such a child.  I have to open it up immediately and look through each item repeatedly.  Given the arrival of the new beads, charms and findings, I would've started on one of the pieces, but I still have a few more things I am waiting for. I will create something new tomorrow.

If you are reading this I hope your weekend was as enjoyable and relaxing as mine.  We all need time to recharge our batteries and reconnect with our loved ones.