Showing posts with label hypomania. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hypomania. Show all posts

Friday, February 1, 2013

Running on Empty

Well I am running on about 3.5 hours of sleep today.  I could not shut my brain off last night. I am guessing sheer exhaustion is finally what did me in.  I started sketching for a new painting, I cleaned up my beads (a bit), and I looked at charms for some new theme bracelets I want to make. I even created a list of things to start on and/or do today. I sold another piece today, a set with earrings.  I can hardly believe it, this makes three days in a row!

Between the mood swings and the inability to sleep I think this may be the onset of a hypo manic episode. I know the symptoms, and now I have a support system in place to help me work through it rather than act out.  Struggling through this will be just that a true struggle. In the past, although I struggled miserably, I self medicated in all sorts of unhealthy and dangerous ways.  Now that the joy of creating is back in my life, its one of the positive things I can do to maintain control and happiness.

I made one small piece today: a bracelet. I've been meaning for some time to start making LGBT Pride jewelry.  This is my first attempt.  The emphasis on this piece is certainly the "L" - LOL. I have a few other ideas rambling around inside this over crowded disorganized brain of mine.

Heading to the therapist today which is really good timing under the circumstances. My only reservation is that I have to drive downtown and I am now thoroughly exhausted. I've pumped quite a bit of caffeine into me today - I am thinking the next option might be sugar (although I've had my share of that too today). I absolutely abhor the taste of energy drinks so that is out of the question.  I'll figure something out because I really want this to be a productive therapy session.

We are having a very small get together at our place on Sunday for the Super Bowl.  Actually its more about people coming over to eat and laugh at the commercials, but nevertheless its an excuse to cook yummy finger foods and drink beer. I am going to work on the menu tonight, and get started shopping and cooking first thing Saturday (after some nice morning cuddle time with my wife). If anyone has a really good Super Bowl recipe they want to share - I'll include it in our Sunday fun.

I lived in Baltimore for almost ten years, so I'll be rooting for the Ravens. This means nothing really because I neither care about nor know anything about the game of football. This doesn't bother me, but it usually makes me the laughing stock at any Super Bowl party.  Since its at our house, maybe I wont get laughed at quite so much.

Please send me happy good nights' sleep thoughts. Hopefully I'll have some energy tomorrow.

Today's JET Team love: (This is a gorgeous pendant!)

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Cowgirls and Cocktails

Funny really that its the boot bling thats selling.  I'm not complaining, its just funny. In response I've made more to replenish the three that have sold.   Here are pics of the two recently created pieces I added to my Etsy store.  I guess I find it funny because I rarely wear boots, I am a New Yorker and in no way a cowgirl.  But they are fun to make and boot wearers love em'.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Hypoturkeymania

"My Love"
Etsy Listing
Another racing mind sleepless night.  Slept roughly 3 hours last night, but on the up side I created a beautiful piece that will be hard to part with once it sells.  Its funny how this came to be.  I started off wanting to sculpt two women in an embrace.  I created one polymer clay female, and no matter what I did the second one was too large to really look like a woman, so I decided to turn it into a man.  So, for all my heterosexual friends out there, here is my new piece called: "My Love".  I intend to do a series of these, and will have one with two women and one with two men.

I am fairly certain I am in a mild hypomania.  The only good thing about this is that I will be able to get all of Thanksgiving taken care of with one hand tied behind my back.  A mild hypomanic state can be a blessing - it lifts the fog and jump starts my motivation.  I can't maintain too many days with little sleep. After a few days I usually crash and then it starts all over again.  If the past is any indication, this will only last for a few weeks.

Doubt I'll get to bead or blog tomorrow, but I guess taking a day off is a good thing.  Looking forward to some time with friends and some good traditional Thanksgiving food. I am making a turkey and all the fixins'.  Our friends are bringing a pumpkin cheesecake, and probably some wine.  It should be really nice.

I always wanted my house to be the place everyone came for the holidays.  No matter what I do it doesn't seem to work that way.  Maybe once all the kids are grown they will come home for the holidays, and the house will be packed.  I can only hope.  Wishing everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving, and please send your good vibes and/or prayers to the innocent civilians in the Middle East (we have a lot to be thankful for here in the United States).

Use coupon code BLOGGER20 and receive 20% of your purchase from my Etsy store on Black Friday!

Friday, November 16, 2012

The Good, The Bad & The Beautiful

The good news is that it was only the battery! Yay!!  The bad news is that I am still hurting and can now add exhaustion to the list. I couldn't sleep last night and was up till almost three a.m. beading.  I decided to bead after spending about an hour tossing and turning - and thinking about beading.  My bipolar disorder has me tending toward racing thoughts.  This can be incredibly difficult if it occurs when you are trying to sleep.  My mind was moving so fast, beads were flying, Thanksgiving dinner was spinning, the marketing of my jewelry was knocking on the door, and the ever present and ignored housework was screaming in my left ear.

Thanksgiving has to be my favorite holiday. We don't have the kids this year which is both a relief and depressing at the same time.  We are having some friends over which I am excited about - I love having company at the house and preparing a nice meal.

Here is the necklace and earrings I created in the wee hours of the morning.  No bling this time, but beautiful.  Back to my more earthy and natural expressions.  I took this photo in the front yard and honestly its getting pretty cold.  I don't know how much longer I will be able to take these pretty outdoor photos of my jewelry.

I sincerely hope this lack of sleep is not a prerequisite to a hypomanic stage.  I just don't know.  I think if it were however, I would just keep going and going and I'd be far happier - LOL.  I don't know if I can keep going today - I'm absolutely pooped!

When I check the mail today I am seriously considering driving the 40 feet or so to the mailbox.  I just don't trust myself (with good reason). I already have a metal plate in one ankle.  I don't feel the need to even myself out.  I certainly was not blessed with gracefulness and agility. Good fine motor coordination, its the gross motor that is severely lacking.

It is quite obvious from this paragraph structure that my mind is still jumping around all over the place.  I am going to try and rest for a while and refuel.





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