A Rough Few Days

Keeping baby happy!

I want to apologize for not blogging the past few days, but basically I’ve been sleeping and painting.  Our finances have been really tight and we couldn’t afford some of my meds, but we just picked them up and things are slowly returning to normal.  We slept our weekend away.  I guess my body needed the sleep.  Went to bed early Saturday evening and woke up late Sunday morning, then had a late morning nap AND a late afternoon nap.  Actually fell asleep on my wife’s lap around 10 p.m. Sunday night, and slept all night till about 7:00 Monday morning.  And, had I not agreed to babysit that morning I probably would’ve slept in long past seven.  I think my body is trying to tell me something, but I am not sure what.

My painting

I created this painting as well. I am toying with selling it but I like it a lot, and know it will likely appeal to a limited audience.  It was born from some recent emotions, although neither my partner nor I look anything like the women in the painting. LOL neither one of us is that skinny!

During the day Saturday I worked with our friend the photographer and he did a wonderful job with some of the pieces I have found very difficult to photograph.  I am excited to upload what he has done onto Etsy, and use some other shots here on the blog as well.

Nice pic from Ben the photographer!

My wife put her notice in at her job and will be starting at a new place in two weeks.  The money is only a tad bit better, but the atmosphere should be much more relaxed and less stressful.  I just want her to be happy and be able to enjoy her day.

Given the time and work spent on the painting I haven’t created any more jewelry.  I don’t know if I will get to this week or not.  My moods have been a bit erratic and I have been kind of down the last couple of weeks.  I find it difficult to turn my mood around – I’m sure I need some tools to help me, but things that make me happy like being creative, writing, singing, etc. are so hard to do when you are in a funk and lack motivation.  Any suggestions are welcome.

Fine Silver Flower Pendant Necklace

JET Team love for today:

This pendant is just soft, feminine and beautiful.  Click the link in the caption if you want to see more.

I made some very yummy oatmeal raisin cookies from a Food Network recipe you can find here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/chewy-oatmeal-raisin-cookies-recipe2/index.html  Here’s a pic.  They came out great.  I think the only thing I might do differently next time is use half molasses and half honey instead of all molasses.  Either way, these cookies are really good. 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

Etsy:            http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

FB:              https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:        https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

Feelin' the Love

Got a lot done with some photos today.  These are my own of course, I meet with the photographer on Saturday. None of these pieces are listed on Etsy yet, but I will get to posting them later today or tomorrow.  I am kind of anxious today, anxious and tired - not a fun combination. Maybe getting out later (even though its for a doctor) will be good for me.

I made a really cool piece last night. I think its kinda unisex. I like it a lot.  Being the Jewish part of this pair (and really more of an agnostic), I don't really wear crosses. I think they can be beautiful and I like to create necklaces using them.

Throughout the day my wife calls me and we chat about nothing, and anything at all.  I like to hear her voice and know she's thinking about me. I text her, because I never know if its a good time to call. A lot of the texts and calls are just to say "I love you" or "I miss you". Sometimes those little things keep me going throughout the day, especially when I am anxious or sad.

Now that I am mostly healthy again I need to get back to seeing my therapist.  Talking to him about this possible law suit would really be helpful right now. Our money is so tight right now even making one appointment is cost prohibitive as the new year has started, and hence so has our deductible. I really like my therapist, and its the first time in a long time that I have had such a good relationship with a therapist.  It took over a decade really to find the right combination of psychiatrist, therapist and medication.  Even still we tweak things all the time, but I feel like I am heading in the right direction, and I have a good team behind me.  That team, and my wife, my kids, my mom and my mother-in-law, have all made suffering from bipolar disorder, OCD, and anxiety disorder easier now than it had been in the past. I still struggle daily with a variety of issues, but knowing all these people are in my corner, pulling for me helps tremendously. Its sad because I know that so many people who suffer from mental illness don't have the support system I do.  Maybe someday I will be well enough to help some of my "brothers and sisters in arms" with their struggle. I know when I have heard stories and feelings shared by others who suffer from similar disorders it has helped me feel less alone.

Red Creek Jasper Necklace

Gotta get ready for the doc. Here is today's JET Team love:

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:        http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

Promoting, Obsessing and Blogging

Finally sat down and made a necklace and some earrings. Got them listed on Etsy, onto FB, tweeted and pinned - whew! This social networking thing is a lot of work, LOL. I am going to meet with a photographer this weekend to see about getting some better shots of my jewelry.  I am pretty good at taking pictures, but I think someone with some commercial photography experience would be a huge asset. Here's the piece I completed and promoted today: (The caption is a link to the Etsy posting.)

Turquoise, Red, Brown & Silver Chunky Multi-Strand Necklace

The attorney's office got back with me today.  I asked the paralegal when they were wanting a face to face meeting, but the answer was kind of ambiguous, "I would imagine at some point in the near future we’d like to get together with you." I knew that already. I was hoping for something more specific, like - let's shoot for two weeks or three weeks?  My anxiety kicks in when there are too many unknowns and in this situation it feels like everything is unknown.

I am trying to stay grounded and not let this take over my life.  When I get obsessive I tend to get hypo manic. My mood has been pretty good though and I am taking my meds everyday. I check in with the doctor on Thursday and hopefully he won't change my meds again. He tried me on some OCD medication, but it didn't seem to really do much. I am concerned about the ruminating thoughts and slight paranoia but I will discuss it all with him, and see if he wants to change the cocktail again.  Maybe he will just while I am going through all this rehashing of such a painful time for me.

Recycled Reclaimed Bronze Lotus Leaf Petal Earrings

Being a member of the JET team, we are asked to promote some of the other member's items and shops.  Everyday they chose a different shop to spotlight and the team members promote an item(s) from that shop. That being said, here's a pretty little pair of earrings from a fellow JET Team member. I love their simplicity and delicate nature. Her Etsy shop, RusticRockJewelry has some very pretty items. (The caption is a link to the Etsy posting.)

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

My links:

FB:                   https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

My Blog:         http://bodyelectricjewelry.blogspot.com

Pinterest:       http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

It's Sparkly!

As the day went on I felt quite a bit better.  I hope things keep going in this direction.  I made two new pieces.  The first one I did in honor of our snowy day.  It's on the dressy side and could almost be worn as wedding jewelry.  I made matching earrings as well.  I'll be posting this set on Etsy later today.

The second set has a necklace, bracelet and earrings. It's also kinda dressy.  I just love the colors in this set:  The turquoise and greens and silver. 

Both of these pieces shimmer and shine.  I usually stick with earthy tones and natural stones when I can, but the sparkle and color helped pick my mood up.

My anxiety has been up and down.  I really do think the addition of the anti-psychotic almost two months ago now has made a big difference.  I am not constantly anxious all day everyday and my moods are not as erratic.  I am very thankful to have a psychiatrist who listens to me and is willing to keep trying different things until we get it right.  It took me quite a long time to find a doctor who listens and responds the way he does.  He's not a therapist and I don't really discuss too much of daily living and emotional issues with him - I have a therapist for that; but he listens to what I can describe regarding my level of anxiety, my OCD behaviors, and my mood cycles. (All of which have seemed to improve a bit.)

Nothing new from my attorney yet.  Patience is not my best virtue.  I am sure he has many other cases, and I am not on the top of his "to do" list everyday.  The waiting and wondering is hard.  I wonder if any questions I might have answered in that 16 page questionnaire could've changed his mind about representing me.  I worry because having a mental illness has such a stigma. Does my bipolar disorder or other diagnoses make me a less credible client? My erratic mood swings? Prior suicidal ideation?  I guess only time will tell... and LOL that goes back to my lack of patience.

My links:

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry
FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Pinterest:         http://pinterest.com/bodyelectricjwl/

 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

Opportunities Abound

Finished posting the last of the pieces today.  Still haven't had a moment to create anything new.  Took the kids back to their dad and dropped off my prescription. I guess over all I've been productive; productive just not creative. Here are the two boot bling pieces I listed today:

World Religions Boot Bling

Today is very cold here and it seems that winter just came on with a vengeance. We made a fire last night which was nice and it warmed the living room well. Another fire might be in order this evening.

Blingy Cross

An interesting opportunity may have presented itself to me.  After more than 20 years I might have the ability to pursue legal action against the man who sexually molested me when I was a young teen.  This opportunity has arisen before and although I attempted to pursue it, it was to no avail.  I don't know if this would bring closure, or just force me to reexamine painful emotions.  My wife and I discussed it, and she thinks I should pursue it after talking to our therapist about it.  I have a good support system now and possibly my doctor has found the best medication cocktail for me.  I intend to speak with my therapist about it, I hope maybe he can help me process this possibility.  I can't begin to describe the events surrounding that nightmare. Its unbelievable that I am still afraid of this man - I'm 43 years old and still feel like a child when those feelings come back.

That turn of events placed me on a path so different from what might have been.  I try hard not to look back with any regrets, because I wouldn't be the person I am today under different circumstances.  I might be better off, but it could also be a lot worse.  Some day I will blog about it all, but for now I'm content with it not rearing its ugly head.

Another interesting opportunity may be presenting itself as well, this time for my wife.  A better job offer is impending and we are waiting eagerly to hear - as this could mean a major upheaval for our household.  This opportunity would be a mixed blessing as we would have to sell our home and move, but we would be closer to both our families and she would be in a less stressful environment.

Any positive thoughts you could send our way would be greatly appreciated given the possibility of some major life events coming in the new year.

My Texas White Christmas

What a crazy Christmas its been!  I wanted a white Christmas and I got what I was asking for.  Most of the family couldnt even make it in today because of the snow. We opened gifts, ate a nice meal and watched holiday movies all day. I got the cutest pair of dolls - a Lucy and Ricki Ricardo 60th Anniversary Barbie pair.  I love Lucy and this will make a great addition to my small but growing collection.

Sitting around all day seems to be more tiring than keeping busy.  Its my fault though because I forgot most of my beading materials and my Nook at home.  The dogs wore their holiday regalia.  Heres a funny and blurry pic the dogs and I. 

I have to admit that I am looking forward to the holiday season coming to a close so that we can return to whatever we like to call normal.  I have been so lax in adding new listings to Etsy and blogging.  I am physically and emotionally exhausted.  My middle son got arrested again two weeks ago for smoking pot (still illegal here in TX), my youngest son faked being sick so he could spend his Christmas day in front of his new television set, and my wife who had quit smoking started up again and tried to hide it from me.  Kinda feel like I'm falling apart at the seams.

Overall its been a nice holiday.  Although there is stress, I know that so many others have it worse - and at least I get to face it medicated!