Self-worth and Satisfaction

Today was very productive.  In the last two days I've sold three pieces, made three and begun to learn a new skill.  One of the sales was my first international order.  It was to Canada, which never really felt foreign to me because as a child we visited Montreal and Toronto at least once a year. Shipping costs did just go up, and with the USPS struggling the way it is shipping things anywhere has become really prohibitive. 

The three pieces I made are custom orders for a bridal party.  These are just the samples really, but I am hoping the bride will order the pieces for her bridal party.  She is having a country western theme and her colors are a variety of purples.  She wanted boot jewelry for herself, her bridesmaids and her flower girl.  Now its just a matter of her budget - which I of all people totally understand. Here are the pieces I created.

Bride's Boot Bling

Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Flower Girl Boot Bling

Bride & Bridesmaids' Boot Bling

Bride & Flower Girl Boot Bling

There is something so satisfying and self-affirming when someone enjoys something you've created.  So few things give me a sense of self worth.  I know that doesn't sound good, but its something I've struggled with my whole life.  I know some of it stems from the abuse, and some of it from the abandonment I feel having been adopted and never connecting with my adoptive family. But creating brings me joy and when it brings joy to others there is a deep satisfaction.  

Here is my JET Team love for the day the shop is ShazzabethCreations: (Just click on the caption to find out more!)

Charoite & Lampwork Gold Wired Necklace

Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully it will bring me continued satisfaction. I think I need to work with clay again; Mold something from nothing with my hands. 

Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text, designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.

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From My Sick Bed Soap Box

Another day still sick.  My chest hurts from all the coughing. Being sick really sucks.  I think I may be on the upswing though because energy wise I am feeling a bit better. Here are two pics of another custom order I just finished. I hope today to have enough energy to be creative at some point.  Even if I am on the mend, I am still absolutely exhausted from all the yuck.

My eldest daughter is in Spain. I am so thrilled that she has the opportunity to study abroad.  I am also a bit jealous having never had the opportunity to travel to Europe.  I hope she has the time of her life.  She's such an amazing young woman and I am so proud of her.

The attorney is supposed to call me back today.   You know, if by chance we can proceed with some type of lawsuit, wouldn't any settlement reached just further push the corruption under the carpet?  True justice is not likely to occur here on earth.  I am not a person of faith, so it hard for me.  A believer finds comfort in their confidence that justice will be served in some other realm, by some powerful deity. I am open to that possibility, and certainly hope for that outcome, but blind faith is something I no longer have.

The humiliation I suffered has perpetuated a constant deep sense of shame.  The feeling that my self worth and my sexuality are one and the same. I was only worth what I could do for him and for his career. Once I served my purpose all attempts were made to destroy me.  I think I still operate at that level to some degree.  If I am not being productive, or creative or doing for others I have an overwhelming sense of worthlessness.  I am working on my self worth it is a long journey.

After so much pain and silence I'd like to imagine that people will know the truth and believe it.  Like the Catholic Church, the Jewish community denies and silences its own humanity.  There are sick people everywhere, in every walk of life, every financial bracket, every leadership position and yes in every religion.  There are women and men, girls and boys who endure abuse every day from people they love and trust.  These predatory individuals must be removed from society to protect innocent lives; Not just "dealt with internally" by religious institutions.  O.K. time to step down off my soap box for the day.

My links:

FB:                https://www.facebook.com/BeadedJewelrybyBodyElectric

Twitter:          https://twitter.com/BodyElectricJwl

Etsy:              http://www.etsy.com/shop/BodyElectricJewelry

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Images and jewelry designs may not be reproduced, copied, duplicated, printed or otherwise used without the expressed written consent of Body Electric Jewelry or agents. All photos, text and designs are the property of Body Electric Jewelry. Photos may be used for personal enjoyment or archive purposes but photos, text and jewelry designs may not be used in any manner for financial gain or commerce by anyone other than Body Electric Jewelry.