Running on Empty

Well I am running on about 3.5 hours of sleep today.  I could not shut my brain off last night. I am guessing sheer exhaustion is finally what did me in.  I started sketching for a new painting, I cleaned up my beads (a bit), and I looked at charms for some new theme bracelets I want to make. I even created a list of things to start on and/or do today. I sold another piece today, a set with earrings.  I can hardly believe it, this makes three days in a row!

Between the mood swings and the inability to sleep I think this may be the onset of a hypo manic episode. I know the symptoms, and now I have a support system in place to help me work through it rather than act out.  Struggling through this will be just that a true struggle. In the past, although I struggled miserably, I self medicated in all sorts of unhealthy and dangerous ways.  Now that the joy of creating is back in my life, its one of the positive things I can do to maintain control and happiness.

I made one small piece today: a bracelet. I've been meaning for some time to start making LGBT Pride jewelry.  This is my first attempt.  The emphasis on this piece is certainly the "L" - LOL. I have a few other ideas rambling around inside this over crowded disorganized brain of mine.

Heading to the therapist today which is really good timing under the circumstances. My only reservation is that I have to drive downtown and I am now thoroughly exhausted. I've pumped quite a bit of caffeine into me today - I am thinking the next option might be sugar (although I've had my share of that too today). I absolutely abhor the taste of energy drinks so that is out of the question.  I'll figure something out because I really want this to be a productive therapy session.

We are having a very small get together at our place on Sunday for the Super Bowl.  Actually its more about people coming over to eat and laugh at the commercials, but nevertheless its an excuse to cook yummy finger foods and drink beer. I am going to work on the menu tonight, and get started shopping and cooking first thing Saturday (after some nice morning cuddle time with my wife). If anyone has a really good Super Bowl recipe they want to share - I'll include it in our Sunday fun.

I lived in Baltimore for almost ten years, so I'll be rooting for the Ravens. This means nothing really because I neither care about nor know anything about the game of football. This doesn't bother me, but it usually makes me the laughing stock at any Super Bowl party.  Since its at our house, maybe I wont get laughed at quite so much.

Please send me happy good nights' sleep thoughts. Hopefully I'll have some energy tomorrow.

Today's JET Team love: (This is a gorgeous pendant!)

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Hypoturkeymania

"My Love"
Etsy Listing

Another racing mind sleepless night.  Slept roughly 3 hours last night, but on the up side I created a beautiful piece that will be hard to part with once it sells.  Its funny how this came to be.  I started off wanting to sculpt two women in an embrace.  I created one polymer clay female, and no matter what I did the second one was too large to really look like a woman, so I decided to turn it into a man.  So, for all my heterosexual friends out there, here is my new piece called: "My Love".  I intend to do a series of these, and will have one with two women and one with two men.

I am fairly certain I am in a mild hypomania.  The only good thing about this is that I will be able to get all of Thanksgiving taken care of with one hand tied behind my back.  A mild hypomanic state can be a blessing - it lifts the fog and jump starts my motivation.  I can't maintain too many days with little sleep. After a few days I usually crash and then it starts all over again.  If the past is any indication, this will only last for a few weeks.

Doubt I'll get to bead or blog tomorrow, but I guess taking a day off is a good thing.  Looking forward to some time with friends and some good traditional Thanksgiving food. I am making a turkey and all the fixins'.  Our friends are bringing a pumpkin cheesecake, and probably some wine.  It should be really nice.

I always wanted my house to be the place everyone came for the holidays.  No matter what I do it doesn't seem to work that way.  Maybe once all the kids are grown they will come home for the holidays, and the house will be packed.  I can only hope.  Wishing everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving, and please send your good vibes and/or prayers to the innocent civilians in the Middle East (we have a lot to be thankful for here in the United States).

Use coupon code BLOGGER20 and receive 20% of your purchase from my Etsy store on Black Friday!

Dreidels and Diversity

I am not your typical Texan. Here in the bible belt being a mentally ill, Jewish, lesbian, adoptee engaged to a Southern Baptist has its draw backs.  If I were not Caucasian, the state might just spit me out entirely.  That being said, I intend to create some jewelry that reflects who I am.  Now I am no girly girl, and I really don't like bling, but in the spirit of enterprise I created this Hanukkah charm bracelet.

I intend to make some Hanukkah pieces that are more my style, and maybe some gay pride jewelry too.  We celebrate Hanaristmas at our house and its a lot of fun since we light menorot and we have a beautiful tree (which has some Hannukah ornaments on it) as well.  Each night of Hanukkah we light our menorot and the kids pick a present from under the tree - LOL.  I make latkes and if we are so inclined we will play a game of dreidel.  We celebrate Christmas with my partner's family and my birth family.

This may all sound very confusing to you, but it works for us and the holidays are a special time for me.  I was raised Jewish and as a child I was jealous of all the kids who had Christmas trees at home.  Being Jewish is a part of who I am.  I was just jealous of the pretty tree.  Now I have the best of both worlds in our home.

This week being Thanksgiving, we decided that we are going to stay home and have our own dinner with friends since the kids will not be with us.  It will be fun and highly diverse - our friends who are agnostic and atheist and expecting a baby any day now, their brother, my partner, myself and possibly four dogs.  Wish we could invite some Asian, African American and Hispanic folks to our table.  I guess my love of diversity is the New Yorker in me.

Everyday is a new day - today my meds are making me very drowsy.  I figure its the meds because I slept well.  I think I am coming out of my depressive state and moving into a mixed state right now. What will "normal" look like for me?  Where will I be after staying on medication for a long time and remaining in therapy?  I know the answer to that will only come with time.

Being the cook in the house I am off to shop for my eclectic Thanksgiving meal. Thanks for reading and I'd love any comments.